When is the Right Time to Ask a Woman Out?

by Grace Obisesan | Meeting People, Moving On

Jul 12, 2021

In movies, the handsome actors always seem to know the right time to ask a beautiful woman out for a date. However, in real life, it always doesn’t look as easy as in the movies. There’s no precise formula to know exactly when to make a move, but there are subtle signs to look out for to ensure the process goes smoothly.

Every man has met a woman or two in his life; a classmate, a neighbor, a colleague at work, or even someone they come across at a café. If you eventually meet a woman you feel attracted to, whether face-to-face or online, in the open or secret, the next thing you will be asking yourself is when is the right time to ask her out.

You like her enough to want to know her better through interesting conversations and sharing laughs. You hope and wish they have the same feeling toward you. But these ideas are all in your mind if you can’t take the first step.

Yes, it can be really complicated to know if a girl is into you. But have you really dug deep enough to know if you really want to get to know her better? Even for you, it could be hard to tell if you like a girl for who she is, or just like her superficial looks (smile, hair outfit, and so on).

Here are pointers to help you be certain about how you feel. This is not a one size fit all suggestion, but most men can relate.

Pay attention to how happy or jolly you feel when she’s around. Not every girl can brighten your day and send your mind spinning like a little child; it takes someone really special to make you feel this way. If you don’t notice her absence, you might not be all that into her, after all.
Consider the amount of effort you’re making to associate yourself with her. If you find that you quickly revamp your timetable so you can casually chat her up after class or cancel plans made with your buddies when she invites you to an occasion, see all these as a sign that you truly need to invest energy with her.
If you have zero shared interests or you dislike her friends or social scene, you might not be all that into her. Curiosity might only be your reason for wanting to ask her out on a date.

[Read: How to Move From Being a Friend With Benefits to a Relationship]

How to Know When it’s Time to Ask a Woman Out

1. Her facial expression

Look at her facial expression. Is she glad to see you? If she smiles with her eyes and seems to light up when you talk, it may mean that she likes you. But remember, just because a woman smiles at or talks to you, doesn’t mean she needs to take your familiarity to a higher level, however, so don’t get your hopes up without a good enough reason.

You can ask her out playfully and if she says, “What, like a date?” reply, “Yes!” Certainty is key (and regardless of whether she says, “No,” essentially, you’ll know where she stands without contemplating too long).

2. Her body language is inviting

If she initiates physical contact with you, i.e., hugs you, or randomly touches you, it often means that she really likes you and won’t slap or laugh at you when you ask her out.

3. The way she responds

Ask her quirky questions like “If I asked you on a date, what would you say?” If she says yes, it is the best time to ask a girl out.

4. She enjoys talking to you

Note, if she messages you all the time or is eager to converse with you regularly, comments on your social media posts, respond fast to your messages, you’re clearly on her mind.

5. She gracefully accept your compliments

Watch out for how she responds to your compliments. If she likes the compliment and she says thanks to you, get prepared to ‘shoot your shot.

On the contrary, if she takes an offense or reacts as you’ve just done the most awkward thing, it will be better not to ask her out to a date at that period. Knowing when is the right time to ask her out is not so hard now, right?

6. She likes being around you

If she’s totally in the moment when you’re together, see it as a decent sign. But, if she’s occupied by her phone, wristwatch, or other people in the room, she may not be romantically interested in you.

If you’ve been able to figure all these out and she feels like the one, it is time to take a step ahead.

How to ask her out when you’re ready

1. Ask her directly

To ask a young lady on a good date, don’t send her messages through companions or family members. Dare to ask her out one on one when you feel it is the ideal time.

2. Be presentable

It’s important for you to look nice when asking her out. You do not need to break your bank in order to buy good clothes. All you need is to just create a good impression of yourself outwardly to compliment your great personality. Girls dig guys who clean up nicely.

[Read: 12 Undeniably Reasons Why You’re Falling Out of Love]

3. Keep it going

Raise the question when you’re both having a nice time together. While there’s no particular time to ask somebody out, it helps if you’re both feeling good and having an incredible discussion. Do not hesitate too long, or else the chemistry might fade. This applies to online dating apps too.

4. Make her feel at ease

Ensure you ask her out when she’s at a safe distance from everyone else. It can be intimidating and abnormal for everybody if she’s with her girlfriends or any particular company.

Doing this will also give her space and allow her to give you an honest answer. She is more likely to respond in a positive way if you approach her alone than when she knows her friends are watching the decision she makes.

5. Be balanced

Don’t overplay asking her out for a date. Appear relaxed and sure, as if you do this all the time. Approach her with a casual and harmless “Hello there!”. Ask her how her day has been going. You need the right equilibrium of certainty and passiveness.

6. Don’t come on too strong

You shouldn’t come on excessively solid or she may get uncomfortable. Ensure you are conversing with her at a normal talking pace. If you hurry through things, she may dub you as desperate and say no!

The preparation

Wherever you decide to take her on your date after she says yes, that is, the venue, have it in mind that this setting is vital to how much you want her to like you. This is why it is usually not advisable to jump into asking a girl on a date unless you might not see her for a long period of time if you don’t take advantage of the moment.

1. Do your research

Take your time to know what she likes, where she feels most at home, where she likes to just unwind or catch fun. Or a place that she’s willing to see that’s within a reasonable range.

2. Make it exciting

Think of at least two places in all she mentions, it can be a cafe, an exhibition, a walk in the park, a hike, some major event, and make reservations there. You are probably wondering why it has to be two places for a date.

This is because, if your date is going impeccably well, (and we truly hope so), you will become weary of sitting in a bistro or café for a long time and you will need to head off to someplace else. If she wouldn’t mind spending more time with you, you will easily notice this by non-verbal signs.

3. Act naturally

This is the time for you to be yourself and act naturally. At the same time, remember to open the door for her or request to pay for the coffee. You need her to have great memories of you and at the same time, make her know that she need not stress over anything when she’s with you through your actions.

4. It’s okay to be nervous

Your nerves will threaten both of you for the most part of the date. There is nothing bad about that! It’s even OK to tell her that you’re nervous; because she’s likely nervous as well. Once both of you understand that you can loosen up a bit, you will appreciate each other more.

Additionally, be OK with silences. There will be times where you’re both considering what else to say… you may even be pondering how well the date is proceeding and get lost in thoughts. Try not to let this worry you, silence is a normal part of discussions.

Tips For Your Big Date

1. Do your homework well

Do not take a sports fan to the opera unless she specifically tells you she would like to go. Here is where asking her about things her favorite things like movies, sports, musical genres, and hobbies, comes in. This way, you can disguise your detective work as a casual conversation and surprise her with a perfect night out that fits her interests.

2. Give her all the attention in the world

When you finally settle in for the date, endeavor to REALLY listen to her! smile and nod when it’s appropriate, and be active with your questions.

Ensure that they are mostly related to what she has previously mentioned to show her how attentive you are. First impressions are huge, so don’t blow it.