When your partner says “I Need Space”
Did your partner just waffle over his relationship with you? Did he just say “I need some space?”. The mistake a lot of women make in this scenario is to grab his ankle and start begging him not to leave them. In other cases, some women will begin sending him countless text messages professing their unending love for him. This has never yielded a good return on investment as the man only begins to see you as desperate. No man likes a desperate woman. Besides, if he decides to listen to your pleas, he lessens his respect for you. I bet you, that is definitely, not how you want to be treated.
Furthermore, It’s always heart wrenching when a relationship that has been so awesome for a woman begins to head for the rocks. In most cases, a lot of women can feel this in their guts before he finally pulls the plug on the relationship, just that the fear of not being able to find another man grips a lot of women.
Many women get confused the moment their partner they thought is the ‘one’ for them, hit them with these three words, ”I need space!”, in most cases, they act on impulse and this mistake usually gives the final blow to the relationship.
Worry no more!
Let’s get started.
The first question that comes to mind is—Is he serious about it?
When a man tells a woman ‘I need space’, he means what he just blurted out seriously. Two major things are involved in that statement:
- It’s either he is about breaking up completely with you or
- He wants to rebuild the relationship and make it better for you both.
Few days ago, David a friend of mine, had just called me to find out if I was available for some talks, luckily for him I had some time to spare with him. When I saw him, he was not looking excited as he was since he told me he now has a girl to call his own. So, I offered him a seat and he poured out his heart to me. He started by asking me what I would do if I suddenly lost interest in a relationship that I was so crazy about a few weeks ago. Initially, I was stunned when he revealed that to me. After digging into the matter, I realized he was completely fed up. My simple answer to that was ”I would leave”.
David is the gentleman kind of person, he did not want to get her stranded. His case was a little bit difficult because this happened during the lock-down and his soon to be ex girlfriend was living with him. Yes, since he has fallen out of love but they still live together under the same roof, and he told her already ”I need space”. The girlfriend has a high chance of saving their relationship, because the ball is in her court. If she takes the right step, she could have him eating out from the palm of her hands again. But one wrong move by her, could make him throw her belongings out.
A man’s reasons for needing space
There are a lot of reasons a man would say ”I need space” to a woman:
- Could be that he found someone he thinks is better than you.
- Maybe he no longer finds you to be as great as he once thought you were
- He wants to be independent.
- It could be that he is no longer interested.
- He doubts his love for you.
- Maybe he’s going through tough times and so on
Women cringe on hearing this, most had a hunch that the ”I need space” was close but instead of taking initiatives, they waited and accepted it like that by saying “okay” as a response to that statement.
Never give in to that, woman, you can do better, especially, if you really want to stand a chance of winning his heart back to you.
What to do about it
- After a break up, it is ideal to not contact him for 30 days or more. Although this effort alone cannot get your prince charming back to you, it will help you keep your dignity and respect.
- Allow him to have his space. If he is doing this because he met someone better than you, fine, let him explore. Do not chase after him no matter how devastated you are.
- This is an opportunity for you to prove you are the best. Don’t cry your eyes out! You will know if this was a success when he begins to have sleepless nights to have you again.
- If your partner is not interested in being your biggest support or a part of your life, then you’re better off without him
- Also, be happy he pulled the plug now. Better now than later.
- Putting in so much effort to make him stay may likely yield results. He may decide to stay, but that wouldn’t make him love you like never before. A lot of things will change.
Have this at the back of your mind
An ex would only return to you, if he feels like he can not get what you offered him in the relationship on a platter of gold with another woman, and you are actually the perfect person for him.
However, in a few months an ex would return to the woman he left, apologizing and pleading for a second chance. And he usually makes the relationship better this time around, as he sees the woman as an asset and begins to treasure her.
Apparently, this does not neglect the fact that some exes might really say they need space, and they are gone forever.
Turning the table to your advantage
The best approach to a situation in which a man says ”I need space” is to respond in this manner:
Bravo! Glad you said that. We are on the same page. I think we need space too!
At this moment his decision of ”I need space” would be called into question. And begins to wonder why you are not acting the way he expects you to. Guess what? You just ignited his feelings for you.
Even if he still did not come back to you after giving him the space he needed, know that you have your dignity and respect intact. Moreover, It is even better for your ex to leave now than for this to happen in some years time, especially when you would have probably settled down with him. Having one or more kids for him.
It is very demeaning for a woman to force a man to stay in her life. This could be an opportunity for you to meet a better man than your ex. And you discover what you have been missing all these while.
Rachael Ukpebor is an Editorial Assistant for Whatsdalatest. She graduated with honours from the University of Benin with a degree in Sociology and Anthropology. She covers beauty, relationship and lifestyle topics at WDS, everything from best skincare and makeup hacks, to relationships. Her favourite music is Lovin’ You by Minnie Riperton.