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What To Do When Your Boyfriend Says He Needs Space

by | Meeting People, Moving On

May 8, 2020

Did your boyfriend just waffle over his relationship with you and say he needs some space? The mistake a lot of women make in this scenario is to grab his ankle and start begging him not to leave them. Some women will begin sending him countless text messages professing their unending love for him in other cases.

This has never yielded a good return on investment as the man only begins to see you as desperate. No man likes a desperate woman.

Besides, if he decides to listen to your pleas, he lessens his respect for you. I bet you that is definitely, not how you want to be treated.

It’s always heart-wrenching when a relationship that has been so awesome begins to head for the rocks.

In most cases, many women can feel this in their guts before he finally pulls the plug on the relationship, just as the fear of not being able to find another man grips a lot of women.

Many women get confused the moment the man they thought was the ‘one for them hits them with these three words, “I need space!” in most cases, they act on impulse, and this mistake usually gives the final blow to the relationship.

Worry no more! The first question that comes to mind is:

Is he serious about it?

When a man tells a woman he needs space, he means what he just blurted out seriously. Two things are involved in that statement:

  • It’s either he is about to break up entirely with you or
  • He wants to rebuild the relationship and make it better for you both.

A few days ago, David, a friend of mine, had just called me to find out if I was available for some talks. Luckily for him, I had some time to spare with him.

When I saw him, he was not looking excited. He told me he now has a girl to call his own. So, I offered him a seat, and he poured out his heart to me. 

He started by asking me what I would do if I suddenly lost interest in a relationship that I was so crazy about a few weeks ago.

Initially, I was stunned when he revealed that to me. After digging into the matter, I realized he was completely fed up. My simple answer to that was, “I would leave.” 

David is a gentlemanly kind of person. He did not want to get his current girlfriend stranded. His case was a little bit difficult because this happened during the lock-down, and his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend was living with him.

Since he has fallen out of love, they still live together under the same roof, and he has told her already that he needs space.

The girlfriend has a high chance of saving their relationship because the ball is in her court. If she takes the right step, she could have him eating out from the palm of her hands again. But one wrong move by her could make him throw her belongings out. 

The possible reasons he needs space 

There are a lot of reasons a man would say he needs space from a woman:

  • It could be that he found someone he thinks is better than you.
  • Maybe he no longer finds you to be as great as he once thought you were
  • He wants to be independent.
  • It could be that he is no longer interested.
  • He doubts his love for you.
  • Maybe he’s going through tough times and so on.

Women cringe on hearing this. Most had a hunch that the “I need space” was close to breaking up. But instead of taking the initiative, they waited and accepted it like that by saying “okay” as a response to that statement.

Never give in to that, woman; you can do better, especially if you really want to stand a chance of winning his heart back. 

Here’s What to do if your boyfriend says he needs space

  1. After a breakup, it is ideal not to contact him for 30 days or more. Although this effort alone cannot get your prince charming back to you, it will help you keep your dignity and respect.
  2. Allow him to have his space. If he is doing this because he met someone better than you, fine, let him explore. Do not chase after him no matter how devastated you are.
  3. This is an opportunity for you to prove you are the best. Don’t cry your eyes out! You will know if this was a success when he begins to have sleepless nights to have you again.
  4. If your boyfriend is not interested in being your biggest support or a part of your life, then you’re better off without him.
  5. Also, be happy he pulled the plug now. Better now than later.
  6. Putting in so much effort to make him stay may likely yield results. He may decide to stay, but that wouldn’t make him love you like before. A lot of things will change.

An ex would only return to you if he feels like he can not get what you offered him in the relationship on a platter of gold with another woman, and you are actually the perfect person for him. 

However, in a few months, an ex would return to the woman he left, apologizing and pleading for a second chance. And he usually makes the relationship better this time around, as he sees the woman as an asset and begins to treasure her.

However, this does not neglect the fact that some exes might really say they need space, and they are gone forever. 

How to turn the table to your advantage 

The best approach to a situation in which a man says he needs space is to respond in this manner:

 Bravo! Glad you said that. We are on the same page. I think I need space too! 

At this moment, his decision would be called into question, and he will begin to wonder why you are not acting the way he expects you to. Guess what? You just ignited his feelings for you.

Even if he still did not come back to you after giving him the space he needed, know that you have your dignity and respect intact.

Moreover, It is even better for your ex to leave now than for this to happen in some years’ time, especially when you would have probably settled down with him or had one or more kids for him. 

Bottom Line 

It is very demeaning for a woman to force a man to stay in her life. This could be an opportunity for you to meet a better man than your ex. And you discover what you have been missing all this while.

Good luck!

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By Rachael Ukpebor

Rachael Ukpebor is an Editorial Assistant for Whatsdalatest. She graduated with honours from the University of Benin with a degree in Sociology and Anthropology. She covers beauty, relationship, and lifestyle topics at WDS, everything from best skincare and makeup hacks, to relationships. Her favourite music is Lovin' You by Minnie Riperton.

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