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What to Do When a Guy Ghosts You and Reappears


It’s hard to trust again after your man ghosts you and reappears out of nowhere all of a sudden.

If you have been ghosted by a guy before, you can tell it does not feel great. The first few weeks into the ghosting, it will feel as though you are about to lose your mind. Then, everything fades, and you forget. But what if the guy reappears? What do you do? In this article, I will be guiding you on what to do when a guy who ghosted you in the past reappears.

1. Take Control of Your Feelings

Usually, when someone reappears after ghosting you, the feelings which you had believed died down come to the surface once more. And it gets hard to think or focus. I understand. Breathe. 

Get your feelings together and understand it is a past hurt. It can’t hurt you much anymore unless you allow it to. And you shouldn’t allow it to.

Read: How to Get Back to Dating After a Bad Breakup

2. Don’t Respond to His Message if You Don’t Want To

You have to be willing to weigh the odds. Have you completely gotten over him and now think it needless to respond to him? Then, please, don’t. 

Remember, just as he didn’t feel like he owed you an explanation for leaving, you shouldn’t feel like you owe him an explanation for getting over him. 

Look at the message, and swipe past. You no longer need drama in your life. 

3. Respond, But Don’t Be Involved

If you still need him around because you feel like some part of you hasn’t completely gotten over him, then respond to him. 

Do just that: respond. But don’t be involved. When he asks you a question, answer just that question. Possibly, as a one-liner. Don’t say more than necessary, and don’t ask him many questions. 

Don’t fall for calling him names or taking out your anger on him. Just stay cool and calm and collected. 

Read: 10 Signs of Emotional Detachment and How to Fix It

4. Do You want Closure? Seek It

Almost everyone who has been ghosted before seeks some kind of closure when the person returns. The closure is very helpful because it helps you heal and move past this. 

The truth is, not everyone ghosts because he is a monster or a manipulator. Some people ghost because they are going through a lot and don’t know how to express their feelings. 

So, ask him why he left. And don’t settle for just one-liners as an explanation. Insist on hearing everything. Insist that you want to know why he ghosted you. 

Read: 8 Ways to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship For Good

5. Weigh Your Options

It’s tough to describe exactly what being ghosted feels like, but I think you can sum it up with this—It really sucks. 

Now, when you have heard what he has to say, weigh your options and make your decision. Is his explanation about why he ghosts you such that it holds water and makes it possible to trust him again? Then maybe you should give it a shot. 

I’d have loved to say that it isn’t quite the right choice to get back with someone who ghosted you because they may do so again, but I’ll just leave you to just follow your gut. 

What is your gut saying? Go with your deepest feelings. But remember to shield yourself from further hurt.

Photo by Scott Warman on Unsplash

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By Martin Corden

Martin Corden is a certified relationship expert and a songwriter from Australia. He loves researching and writing. Martin loves finding new ways to improve and inspires others to be their best version and work together towards it. Martin has a wide range of intellectual and artistic interests.

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