A lot of people do not know what you mean when you say: “I have dating anxiety.” But I do. On my first date years ago, my forehead was covered in sweat. My eyes were as red as the sky the next day, and I could have sworn I lost my sense of hearing. I know how embarrassing it can be, and so I will be helping you fix that problem just as a book I read helped me fix mine. Here are ten practical yet simple ways to overcome dating anxiety.
1. Date your Type
This is the most important yet missed point. You will almost always be anxious if you do not date your type. I can assure you of this.
Do you know why? It is quite simple. If you do not date your type, you will be caught in the web of trying to impress.
A date is a time when you both get to know each other. It is not a time when you try to impress. Your anxiety during that date stems from trying to be someone you are not and failing at it.
It is usually pathetic to watch. Even your date can see you struggle.
2. Be You From the Start
Right from when you hit that first send or first hello, be yourself.
Like I have stressed earlier, you don’t have to be someone else on the date. You also don’t have to be someone else outside the date. It does you no good, and it does your partner no good as well.
Be yourself when you text that night. Be yourself when you text every night afterward. Be you. If they do not like you for you, then you shouldn’t even be on a date with them in the first place.
This may not sound sweet, but it is the truth.
3. Build a Rapport
Before going on a date, be sure to build a rapport. This is the mistake I used to make a while ago. I will wake up and decide I will be going on a date without even knowing much about my date or myself yet.
This always backfires. You do not have to rush. Rushing is a form of anxiety in itself. Don’t believe me? Then think of all the times you have had to rush. Were you not anxious about something in those times? I am pretty sure you were.
Don’t be anxious about whether or not your date will agree to go out with you if you take things slow. Take your time in the seduction phase. Do not rush.
4. Be Vulnerable
After you have established a rapport between you and your potential date, the next thing left for you is to create some vulnerability.
This makes you fonder and more comfortable. If you can be vulnerable with her over the phone, being vulnerable when you meet her will not be much of an issue. For all it is worth, you may even tell her: “I am shy. I have this anxiety sometimes.” over the phone hours before the date.
5. Set the Date at a Location You Are Comfortable With
Yes, by all means, go with a location you are comfortable with.
You are the man. You can lovingly tilt away from all her options and have that date where you want.
Do you not know that where the date happens is very important?
If you have a phobia for enclosed spaces, you may feel more alive if the date happens outside, in the open, where you can see the sky.
If you have a phobia of open places, you may want to set the date for somewhere enclosed.
Set the date at the right time of the day, when you can be yourself, and when you don’t have to constantly look at the time every second to be sure you do not stay past curfew.
6. Practice Speaking to Yourself in a Mirror
Yes, look in a mirror and imagine that was your date. Speak to yourself. Practice speech. This can help so much with dating anxiety.
If you are used to stuttering, you should build your confidence enough to keep yourself from stuttering.
You may want to see how a good date should feel like by watching a couple of YouTube videos. I watched a lot when I was still a sucker at this dating thing, and to be fair, they all helped me.
7. Wear Clothes you Love
It is not enough that you wear clothes that look good. Make sure you love the said clothes as well.
If you do not love your clothes, you are going to feel very uncomfortable in them, and trust me, it will be so obvious your partner sees it.
If she calls out your anxiety, then be sure that the anxiety is going to get worse.
Wear good cologne, too. This speaks for you before you even open your mouth, I am telling you. I have had women swoon over me from the minute the smell of my cologne hit their nostrils.
You do not have to try too hard when good cologne is on your side.
8. Show Up First
Yes, this is another trick with which you can beat dating anxiety. It helps for you to show up first, to be the one who does the welcoming.
Show up first and take a sit. Take in the environment and fall in love with it.
Make yourself very comfortable, and it’ll be difficult to pull out that feeling even when they arrive.
9. Make a Neat First Impression
Yes, you should make a neat first impression.
Hug them. Give them a warm smile. Welcome them to the table and ask what they would like to get.
Don’t be scared that you will do all the wrong things. No. That is your dating anxiety, speaking. Instead, be happy that you will do all the right things—way to go.
10. Enjoy your time!
Dating anxiety can be dealt with pretty easily when you learn to be patient with yourself.