Being the best girlfriend doesn’t take much effort, even though the task may seem daunting.
This article in no way suggests that a woman’s goal should not be more than being a man’s girlfriend or wife, but nurturing your relationship is the right thing to do, and both parties in the relationship have their role to play.
There is so much misinformation out there about how to be the best girlfriend he’s ever had, and it varies from man to man. There are some significant universal truths that all men would like their girlfriends to know about.
Understanding how your man thinks and what he needs in the relationship makes it easy to be able to relate with him on a deeper level.
We are often tempted to blame our partner when problems arise instead of sitting back and working on how to make things better and how we can be an overall better person.
Throwing blames around and hoping that things will improve is a sure way of ruining your relationship. You can’t make someone what you want them to be or expect them to do things right all the time. What will make a situation better or worse is how you react to it.
If that man sees how amenable and mature you are at managing situations, he is likely to step up and match your energy.
The truth is that lots of work go into making a relationship successful. The more you work on making yourself a better person, the easier your relationship will grow stronger.
Many women work for the chase but not the catch. That is, they are masters at getting men to like them, but when they get that attention and finally have a relationship with him, they are unable to keep up the same energy, and this can lead to disappointment for both parties.
How would you feel if a guy did everything you’ve ever dreamt of, sweep you off your feet, only for him to stop once you officially become his girlfriend?
Just like you, a man would be disappointed and probably get over you faster if the ‘glitz’ that attracted him isn’t there anymore.
The things that attract men vary; some like clingy and attention-seeking women, while some like their women to be fiercely independent. It all boils down to implementing the list below and taking time to understand your man.
How to Be the Best Girlfriend He’s Ever Had
1. Be Your Real Self
Nothing beats staying true to your real self. No matter how pretty you are, you are not immune to bad breaths and errant hair growths, even the occasional escaped fart in your sleep.
You are human; embrace it. Don’t try to make him think you are some sort of superhuman. You’re beautiful with your imperfections.
2. Give Him Some Breathing Space
Men and women handle pressures differently. While women would usually want to talk about it, men would rather retrieve into their mental shells and figure out how to do it on their own.
When he does this, a woman might get upset because she doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t talk about what he’s going through or why he seems to be shutting her out. She starts to think different things, like maybe he’s in that mood because she did something wrong or that he doesn’t find her appealing anymore.
If your boyfriend shows signs of withdrawal, it may be best to give him space. It may not be the right time to tell him to snap out of it, consider your feelings, or give unsolicited advice.
Being the best girlfriend he ever had doesn’t mean you have to cuddle him every minute. Sometimes, you have to step back and let him have his alone time.
Everybody needs some personal space. People go through a lot and need some time to process them without you continuously being all up in their space. They know you love them and want to be there for them, and they are not shutting you off. They need some me-time from time to time.
Related: 10 Things Women Do That Turn Guys On
3. Learn To Appreciate Him
Appreciation goes a long way. Appreciate the little and big things. You’ll see that man willing to do more and more things to make you happy. A man’s deepest wish is to be appreciated for their show of love. He wants to feel that everything he did for you was successful and not a miss.
4. Pay Attention To Him
It’s easy to ignore people when we are preoccupied with other things. Sometimes, all that man wants from you is to give him a little bit of your attention. He will worship the ground you walk on and even go on to treasure you forever. Don’t just go, “Hey sweetie, how are you?” and then zone out when he tries to tell you about how he is.
Pay attention to his habit, demeanor, and emotions. Cheer him up when he’s having a bad day, and celebrate his wins.
Related: 10 Tips On How To Gain Respect From A Man
5. Nag Less
Yes, he gets on your nerve, and he wouldn’t change no matter how much you talk even though he has promised a couple of times but no changes, so you just want to keep talking and talking about the things he repeatedly does till he ‘gets it.’
Take a deep breath, girlie. Apart from wasting too much energy on a fruitless endeavor, men don’t do well with nagging. They shut down or go on the defensive when you keep repeating the same things over and over.
This is not to suggest that you keep ignoring his misdeeds, but you should learn to pick your battles. Ignore his silly antics. Believe me; there’ll be lots of it.
There will be times he will be on your nerves in the most unimaginable ways, but you will be more fulfilled in your relationship if you focus more on the positive aspect.
6. Be His Friend
Lots of people compartmentalize their life. They separate their intimate life from their regular life and vice versa, not realizing that sometimes being both best friends and lovers with someone you love may be the best therapy your relationship may need.
Many times, your relationship will be on edge, and you will want to move on, but because you see them as more than just a lover, you will be willing to make your relationship work because you don’t want to lose the companionship you have with them.
Be your man’s friend, care for him, talk to him, not at him, joke with him, be carefree with him like you would with your best friend. Leave the serious stuff for a while and just let him have fun in your company. This will allow for a deeper bond in the relationship, and you’ll go on to be the best woman he ever had.
Read: Best Places to Meet Genuine Guys
7. Tell Him How You Feel
For men, women can be very confusing. One minute, all is well, and the next, there’s a dark cloud over her head. The ironic part is that when men try to read the situation of things, they mostly always read wrong and end up making matters worse.
So, instead of moping around and hoping he will magically understand why you are in a bad mood, it may be fair to him to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel.
When you tell a man how you feel and suggest to him how to make things better—may be all you wanted was an apology or a gift—chances are he will passionately do what you want him to do for you, and he will feel relieved and happy when you feel better.
Don’t suppress what’s bothering you. These feelings fester and breed more bad emotions that may become a problem as time goes on.
8. Don’t Flirt With Other Men
There’s a universal truth you may not know, but men are very jealous and possessive when they find what they love.
Some women are aware of this, and they play to this vulnerability in men because it makes them powerful or beautiful.
If a man has to constantly fear what you might be doing behind his back, even if it is harmless flirting, you start to lose his respect and love; making you not the best girlfriend he will ever have.
The best girlfriends are usually loyal and trustworthy with their actions and words. He’ll realize these qualities in you, making you the best girlfriend.
Related: 15 Qualities Men are Looking For in a Woman
9. Maintain Your Independence (Be Your Own Woman)
Women tend to fall off the map and start dedicating all their time and attention to a man as soon as she enters a relationship. They start canceling plans with friends, skipping family time, and always want to spend every moment with the man.
This is only natural, but doing this not only makes you look clingy to the man, but it also leaves you with little to no life outside the relationship, which is downright unhealthy.
It’s okay to put in effort in your relationship, but not at the expense of your own life. The relationship is only an aspect of your life, not the entirety of it!
Your relationship should not be your only source of happiness; balance your life, so you don’t choke that man and scare him away.
Staying busy outside the relationship and doing all the other things you enjoy doing will let him know that you will not suffocate him.
Another reason you need balance is that if the relationship ends is that you may fall into depression with nothing to help you get through your heartbreak phase.
Women who dedicate their entirety to a relationship always end up feeling like they’ve been taken advantage of, that they gave their all, and still ended up losing out. This breeds resentment and eventually contributes to feelings of low self-esteem. Being your own woman will make you be the best girlfriend he’s ever loved.
10. Take Care of Yourself
This goes without saying; when a man approaches you, it is mostly because you look appealing to him. Men are, after all, visual people.
You don’t need to be runway-ready or red carper savvy, but you should make an effort to look and smell good.
Don’t stop shaving your legs just because you feel you don’t want other men’s attention. Eat healthily, work out, style your hair and visit that spa you’ve been eyeing.
Doing all of the above will keep your man interested and you’ll become the best girlfriend he’s ever had. It will be like he is just meeting you all over again. He will also be proud to show you off because he knows no matter what, you will always look good and smell nice.
Read: What Men Consider Good in Bed
11. Like His Friends (Or At Least Pretend To)
You see those goofy and lewd friends of his; they mean a lot to your boyfriend because they are practically brothers.
If you don’t like his friends, you may be one step out of the door because the man will be forced to make compromises often between you and his buddy, and one day he just might have had enough and choose…. there’s the possibility you might not be the one he chooses.
Don’t worry; it’s alright that you don’t like his friends and question what your man sees in them, but what is not right is showing your disdain for them to their faces.
Be nice to them and make an effort to get along with them, you will become their favorite friend gal, and your boyfriend will also feel better knowing you all are a big ‘family.’
12. Surprise Him From Time To Time
Surprise is a vital spice of a great relationship, and just as women like the occasional gift surprises, men also like to be surprised with beautiful gestures and things.
It may be as little as a love note tucked in his pocket, buying him those socks he likes or presenting him with tickets to his favorite concert. You may even take him on occasional drives around town or offer to pay half of some bills.
If your man is someone who pays attention, he will show you his appreciation over and over again.
The important thing is to make sure he enjoys these things you do for him; there is no point if he doesn’t feel comfortable with your gifts and you keep doing it anyway.
Learn his likes and dislikes because some people do not like surprises, and that’s okay! It does not make them a bad person or the wrong partner. You just have to look for other creative ways to show him you love him and care deeply about his happiness. Applying these tips will make you be the best girlfriend he’s ever had.
Photo by Gustavo Fring