Even if they might not tell you, in their corners, women laugh at penises. Penises of all sizes and shapes are prone to being chuckle over by women. Here are the types of penises women love and chuckle over.
1. Slim and long penises
“Why is your length getting up to my uterus, but it’s not providing any girth? Waste of length when it’s all wiggling in me like a worm”.
Not mine, those are my friend Andrea’s words. It was really hilarious when she told us the sad story of this really cute guy she had been seeing for a while.
According to her, minutes before they finally did the deed, his penis was so long she thought, “That’s some good-looking length.”
But when he slid it in, she could barely feel anything proper because it was long without any body. Some women like to agree that overly long dicks with no girth are very disappointing.
2. Short but girthed penises
The thought of this one makes me mentally facepalm because why is your dick taking such space but isn’t reaching anywhere? It’s a very annoying thing. Couldn’t it be a little longer? I mean, it feels really good, but with that length, blah, pass.
The very annoying thing about these sorts of dicks is that they have so much promise with all that width, but they never reach where you expect them to. It’s like they’re reaching for it alright, but they never seem to get there. Always teasing but never there.
3. Too extra penises
One of my girlfriends, when dared to recount her worst sexual experiences, said, “This guy stripped and man, you had to see that dick. The size was monstrous. I had never had such a big dick in my life. And it was not even fully erect.
When he went to the bathroom, I ran away. I like my womb where it is, thank you very much”. I could only feel exasperated by this story. Imagine having all that length and girth, but everyone is too scared to get on it. That’s not fun.
4. Tiny penises
What are you? A three-year-old? It’s really both disturbing and disappointing when you want to sleep with a really cute guy, and he removes his dick, and it’s something around the size and length of your pinky finger. And it’s even sad when he says it’s erect, and the erection doesn’t look like one at home. Then she’d try so hard to be polite and endure the session. I could mistakenly ask if you left some of it at home. My friend Megan, who isn’t so graceful, would literally be on her phone all through the sex.
5. Uncut penises
Let’s admit it. Uncircumcised dicks look really weird. On a year-baby, that’s totally understandable, but why are you twenty-five and carry all that extra flappy skin around? I find it a bit scary. Some women find men who have uncircumcised dicks very unsexy and unmanly. I mean, what are you scared of? The midwife’s blade? Not a trait I want in my man, though. Men laugh at women’s vaginas and clitoris all the time, so take heart.
6. Average penises
Average penis are usually manageable because they’re neither here nor there. You can’t exactly say they’re bad, but you can’t say they’re very good, either. It’s just annoying to have something fit so perfectly in the middle.
There are those days when you really want to feel the girth and length of a man, but the average-sized penis is just giving half the package. And this is usually really awful because you are left more horny than you were at the beginning. But you can’t blame him because, on other days, his little mister performs really well and satisfies the emergency horniness.
7. Too curved penises
What are you? A banana. Although curved penises have their good days, they majorly like going in the wrong direction. I mean, most women like it when the dick hits straight and sure at the spot, if you know what I mean. But the curved dick just swerves off course, and this is so tiring.
Sometimes, that extra curve pokes at the woman’s insides, and this could hurt really bad. Women who have never seen a curved dick before in their lives are sure to freak out when they see one.
8. The S penises
This is the weirdest dick you may come across in your entire life. How do I even begin to explain that this dick is usually S-shaped? I mean, it’s hard enough to deal with banana dick. Why should there be S-shaped ones? Women find it really funny when this penis wiggles and jiggles awkwardly like a jelly. Diana said, “When my boyfriend first brought out his penis, I exclaimed big Noodle! I honestly don’t know how that slipped out”.
9. The old-looking penis
This penis, as the name implies, looks like something an old man is supposed to have, and if you have this one dangling about, know women are laughing at you. To be fair, this penis is usually had by older men. So if you’re fucking an old man, strength to your bones. Women find it quite hilarious when this penis does not really specify what it is. You cannot really tell if this penis is erect or not, and you are almost never certain of its size. It is a really hard kind of penis to work with. It gets even more harder if you are straddling it.
10. The hairy penis
As the name implies, this penis is a hairy one. It could have hair on the balls and shaft. Women like to think that men with hairy penises are unhygienic men because why do you let hair live on your penis, which is supposed to be smooth? Trust me, if I were to see this one, I would laugh too. A good friend of mine recalls the story of a man she once slept with someone who had a hairy penis and believes me, she hasn’t gotten over the humorous situation.
Dick’s humor is a thing for women.