Pleasing a woman in bed should be one of the easiest things to do. But for many men, it isn’t so. Each sexual encounter ends up being average at best and, at worst, just plain bad. This is because many men do not understand what women really want in bed.
Read on to find out the 10 things women want in bed from their men.
1. Perfect Timing
The truth is, while men may not exactly pay attention to the timing of sex, women do pay attention to this. Better put, when the sex is happening matters to your woman.
She wants it to happen when you both are very comfortable because she believes sex to be quite an intimate affair that should not be rushed.
When next you try to initiate sex, observe the circumstances. Initiate only when she seems most comfortable and willing to get down.
2. Women Want Foreplay in Bed
This is also where men miss it many times. Men, at least a lot, want to go right into the sex. That is almost never what a woman wants to do in bed. She loves the penetrative sex, yes. But the foreplay means much to her too.
Foreplay gives her room to be more relaxed and comfortable. It also gives her external organs more time for lubrication. Believe me: you only want to penetrate your woman when she is quite wet.
Kiss her. Hold her body. If you can explore, find your way around giving her some oral sex.
3. She Wants You to Explore in Bed
This is a better way of saying: “Your woman doesn’t want to tell you what to do.” And that is just the truth. Women seldom want to tell men what to do—not in bed and not outside bed.
In bed, she wants you to figure it out on your own. I’ll tell you how you can pull this off next. But, hey, explore. Explore her body in bed.
4. She Wants You to Be Observant in Bed
This is the only way you can really explore her body—by observing it. There is nothing more appealing to a woman than a man who pays attention and observes every move in bed.
If you do this, you will be able to make her feel whatever stuff you want her to feel.
Observe her voice, how it rises and falls, when it rises and falls. Distinguish pleasure moans from those of gentle pain. I have been with a number of women, and I know that not all moans in bed come from a place of pleasure. Some, and a lot, come from a place of pain.
Observe when she holds you closest. At that moment, she may just be saying that she wants you to get slower and more intimate. She wants to hold you, kiss you, while you stroke her slowly.
5. She Doesn’t Expect You to Be an Expert in Bed
The truth is, while what happens in porn may be appealing to a number of men and women alike, what happens there is not what usually happens in real life, with real couples who love themselves.
These sexual movies are scripted; more often than not, those actors and actresses do not have the slightest ounce of feelings or emotional attachment to each other.
The last thing you want to do is become an expert in lovemaking with your woman. No. You become intimate with her the way it works for you both, not the way you see it on TV.
6. She Wants You to Focus on Her Pressure Points
There are points on a woman’s body that illicit the most pleasurable sensations.
Like the breasts, the sides of the neck, the inner thighs, and the clitoris. A study shows that the clitoris has a dense collection of nerve endings! (an estimated 8,000 nerve endings). Stroking these areas can make her feel things she does want to feel.
If you are observant enough, you will hear her soft moans when you stroke these areas. You’ll feel her hold onto you closer. Observe, as I said earlier, and explore. Explore as much as you want to—a lot of couples find themselves when they have sex.
7. Pay Attention to Your Stokes
In bed, a woman wants you to pay attention to your strokes. She doesn’t just want you stroking. She wants you stroking in a way that guides the intensity of the sex. And, yes, she wants you to maintain rhythm.
I asked Katja, a sex therapist in Hamburg, whether strokes really mattered. Her answer was yes. She said the rhythm of strokes guided the sex; if they were uniform, the sex felt uniform. If they were not, the sex felt a bit haphazard.
8. She Wants You to Please You, Too
When you have sex with a woman, you have to realize that just the way you want to please her, she too is interested in pleasing you as well.
If you try too hard to please her, such that you barely even enjoy the sex or please yourself, she is going to be turned off by this. It will make her feel like she is some selfish person who is trying to take advantage of you.
Show signs of intimacy, too. Allow yourself to feel all the pleasure from the action between you both. Don’t hold yourself back if really you are enjoying it. She wouldn’t know that you are enjoying it then.
9. Moan, Be Expressive
Yes, the one way a woman knows that you are enjoying the sex is when you moan and show facial expressions that suggest this.
When you have sex with a woman, be sure that she is paying attention to you. She is observing you as well. She wants to see that you are enjoying it because, for some reason, it makes her feel good about herself as well.
10. Explore Her Fetishes
Many sexually active woman has fetishes, and they want their men to explore their fetishes in bed. Some talk about their fetishes. Others do not. But it does not matter, does it? If you have been with a woman for a while, you should find a way to understand her fetishes, and you should explore them.
A woman wants two things in bed, most times: she wants to enjoy it, and she wants you to enjoy it as well.