We keep hearing that men are difficult to understand, especially in romantic relationships. Is this really true? We don’t think so. We think knowing what matters most to men is the best way to understand them truly and how they view romance and friendships.
This is why we have made this list of the ten things that matter most to men.
1. Words of Affirmation
Men really love it when a woman speaks clearly about her feelings toward them. This is to say it matters a lot to guys whether or not a woman is expressive about her feelings or not. Men make women who are able to express their feelings a priority.
It may not quite seem so when you view it from the surface, but men deal with insecurities too, and often, are hit with blinding doubt about you, themselves, and your relationship.
So, your words of affirmation mean quite a lot to him. Make a habit of letting him see how much he means to you. Tell him how much you love his being in your love. Say you will stick to him no matter what goes wrong. He really wants this!
Of course, your words of affirmation have to be backed up with actions if they are to be effective.
2. A Man Wants His Woman to Trust Him
As much as men prioritize women whom they can trust, they also love to trust women completely. Trust is up there amongst the many things that matter most to guys in relationships.
Your man considers your trust to be something paramount because he realizes that if you can trust him, the relationship between you both will have a smoother dynamic.
Relationships are way easier to work through when both parties completely trust each other and their relationship.
It is also way easier to be vulnerable with a guy whom you can completely trust. Men also demand this vulnerability.
3. Acts of Service
Like words of affirmation, acts of service are one of the five love languages. For many men, this is such a huge priority. Maybe even a need. The moment they get into a romantic relationship with a woman, they subconsciously begin to expect some acts of loving service.
And it isn’t just men. Even women, too, desire the same thing. Because that is just what love is: the ability to serve another because they mean so much to you.
The acts of service that men want don’t have to be too much. You don’t have to move the world for him. You just have to show him that you are willing to try. For a man, the effort is everything.
The moment he sees that you are willing to let a lot of things go just, so he becomes happier, his affection for you is going to deepen tremendously.
We asked Jake what mattered most to him, and he said: “Well, effort. She just has to try. A trying woman is, basically, everything a guy wants. I am telling you. We all want a woman who tries, and that’s it.”
4. Accepting His Friends and Family
Every man prioritizes a woman who loves his family. Your man is no exception. It does matter to him that you love his mom, his friends, and every other person who means much to him.
If you are hostile to people whom he holds dear, he will begin to detach from you. But if you do naught but show support and love to his safe people, he will consider you just the woman for him.
I’ll fill you in on a secret. Men are not difficult. Love what they love, and they will love you in ways that surprise you.
5. Establish Boundaries with Other Men
This is one of the many things men do not like to vocalize because telling a woman you do not love her and having porous boundaries with other men comes off as you being controlling.
Jake also said: “I don’t think it is right to ask my woman to establish boundaries with other men. She just has to know it isn’t quite cool, you know?”
This is true.
The ability for a woman to establish boundaries with other men is paramount to men because:
- Such a woman is considered trustworthy: her man is, therefore, able to let his guard down and trust her wholly because he knows she won’t go past the confines established by commitment.
- Commitment comes easy: it is not news that men are often scared of commitment. Why? Because they don’t want to be hurt. A woman who creates strong boundaries will not let her guard down when with other men, so men will commit to her.
Please note that this is not to say you should not have male friends. By all means, you should be friends with other men; just verbal about your own commitment and disinterest in having anything to do with them.
6. A Family-Oriented Woman
It is true: not all men want to raise a family and settle down. But it is also true that to a bulk of men, family matters a whole lot.
Chances are, judging from the percentage, your man, like other guys, considers a family to be something that really matters. This means he wants a family-oriented woman with whom he will raise his kids and establish his own legacy.
A family-oriented woman, at least to a man, is one who is willing to raise a family, nurturing this family until it becomes perfect.
7. A Woman Who Communicates
We asked Alley, a single man who is looking to get into a relationship soon, what he thought mattered most to men like him seeking love.
“Communication.” He said. “It matters whether or not she is open about everything. I left my last relationship because she would become cold and distant rather than talk. I do not want that.”
This pretty much summarizes everything. Many guys agree to have a difficult time talking to their women when these women are going through some hard moments. They really want this to change.
If you could pry open a man’s box of things that really matter, you would definitely find a card that reads: “I want you to talk to me when you are going through difficult moments.”
8. Sexually Compatibility
Sexual compatibility is one of the requirements for a healthy relationship. Men absolutely consider it a big deal whether or not a woman is expressive of her sexuality.
It matters to men if the sex is great; guys desire that you love it as much as he does, crave it as much as he craves it too, keeping an open mind when it comes to the activities of the bedroom.
9. Let Him Help
Most men are natural problem solvers, especially to their spouses. This is why a woman’s slightest hint of frustration or exhaustion drives a man into hero mode. He leaves what he is doing and dives right in to help her.
Imagine how bad he will feel when, instead of meeting a woman willing to accept his help as a lover should, he meets a brick wall of: “Nothing, I am fine.”
All fifteen men we interviewed agreed that: “Nothing, I am fine” is amongst the top ten most annoying sentences they hear from their spouses from time to time.
Your guy really wants you to let him help you. Don’t shut him out when he is trying to be there for you. Instead, if you would rather do it without his help, calmly tell him you will sort it out on your own.
“Oh, it is nothing to worry about, honey; I will have it done soonest. Thanks so much for offering to help.”
Appreciate his help or offer to help. That’s all he wants, and it matters greatly to him.
10. Become His Cheerleader
Every man needs a cheerleader in his woman. This is, in fact, one thing single men envy men in a relationship for.
Notice how enthusiastic your man is when he tells you about what he is up to? That is him saying: “Babe, I really do love this, and I want you to love it too and support me until I get it.”
Cheerleading a man involves three things:
- Acknowledging his desire as genuine and honorable: this is where you tell him his desires are honorable. He isn’t doing anything wrong by wanting to have those things he craves after. Instead, he is a great guy who cares about his comfort.
- Acknowledging his ability to get what he wants: this is where you praise his strength and let him see you believe he can get what he wants.
- Telling and showing him how much you support him.
In conclusion, what matters most to men is that they really want to be understood. Not just men. Everyone wants to be understood.