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10 Things Men Secretly Want


With many women, it is almost impossible to really understand men and what men want. This is because, essentially, men and women are wired differently. The masculine and the feminine are on different ends of the line, though strongly attracted to each other. In this article, I will be helping women understand the ten key things men secretly want.

Here are 10 things men secretly want.

1. Want to Be able to Be Themselves

This is number one for a reason. Because if you get this wrong, you are going to push the man straight out of your life and into another woman’s arms. 

Yes, you love him. But this love means nothing if he can’t be himself around you. In a relationship, no man wants to feel caged. 

Men want to do what they want without being afraid that their women are going to counter their decisions. A guy doesn’t want to stop hanging out with the boys because of you, nor stop hitting the gym because you are uncomfortable. 

They want to be themselves. Many men may not tell you openly about this, but it is one of the things they secretly want.

Related: Things to Talk to a Guy About

2. Want to be Vulnerable

Many men out there secretly want to be vulnerable. 

When many women think about men, they see a species who are strong and independent, able to handle their issues without involving anyone. In a way, this is true. Still, it is not. Men also want to be vulnerable. 

Men want to be able to talk about their issues without being judged for them. They want to look on to their woman for some kind of safety. Sometimes, a lot of times, men protect their women, especially in the face of physical danger. 

But once in a while, like in the game of chess, the queen protects the king. This is especially true regarding emotional difficulties, as women are more emotionally in tune with themselves than men. 

Read: 10 Types of Guys Every Girl Should Date

3. Want Your Opinions

If he wanted to be his own man, doing what he sees fit whenever he sees fit, he would not have entered into a relationship just yet. 

To men, the relationship package comes with the gift of companionship. He wants you to be his companion. He wants to be able to hear your opinions. Advise him. That is one of the best things to do with your man; their love and affection for you will increase when you do this thing that men secretly want.

Read: Things Women Do That Men Love

4. Want a Woman Who Can Depend on Them

Men take pride in being dependable. A man is something like a rock. He feels great about himself when one leans on him, especially someone he loves and appreciates deeply: his spouse. 

When you depend on your man, you are telling him that you consider him an honest man and would not mind giving him your trust completely. 

That is one of the most effective compliments in a man’s world. He will love you and try as much as possible not to break your trust

Related: 10 Things Women Do That Turn Men On

5. Want to Be Pampered

Yes, men are big babies sometimes. So, he wants that you pamper him. He wants to come home to some head rubs and some cuddles. Be affectionate to him. Initiate body contact, and perhaps, sex, as often as you can.   

To be pampered by a woman is something most men secretly long for and want their women to do.

6. Want You to Enforce Your Own Boundaries

No man wants to tell you what to do and what not to do. This is because, a lot of times, this comes off as them being insecure and controlling. Controlling is the last thing a healthy man wants to be. 

He doesn’t want to tell you to stop texting a dude you obviously spend too much time texting. Instead, he secretly wants you to enforce your own boundaries—with him and, eventually, with everyone else in your circle. Especially your male friends. 

He wants you to just do it. 


7. Want You to Flaunt Him

The need to be flaunted and put out there for people to see and admire may seem rather feminine, such that women dismiss at once the thought that their men would ever want a thing like that. 

But the truth is, the need to be admired is neither male nor female—it is a natural human need that has to be met somehow. Your man won’t say so because the last thing he wants to be seen as is needy and attached too much to female acceptance. 

Just do it. Flaunt him. 

8. Want to Be Complimented

This may not seem like such a secret, anyway. We only include it because compliments are one of the things guys won’t ask for, no matter what. Well, they might, like when they get new clothes, poses before you and says: “Do I look good?” But this is rare. 

So, as often as possible, compliment your man. It lets him see how important he is. The compliment does not necessarily have to be thrown at something’ big.’ It can be thrown at even the littlest things, like how he smiles or walks—anything at all. 

9. Want You to Offer a Helping Hand Once in a While

No, he doesn’t want you to come over and take over his work so he can go to bed—far from it. When he secretly wants you to offer a helping hand, he wants your willingness to observe and support. 

Every man wants his woman to be attentive to him, able to tell when his moods change, and willing to extend a helping hand. This makes him feel quite appreciated. He may look up at you, smile, and say: “I am fine.” But this does not mean that you haven’t hit a nerve. 

10. Want You To Get Along With Everyone They Hold Dear


You see, men love their friends and family quite dearly. (I mean, who doesn’t?). So when they fall in love with someone, they usually secretly require this person to love their family too, at least for their own sakes. 

They want you to say: “I like that, your friend. He seems to really respect you.”

“I like your mom as well. She is such a nice person.”

The list goes on and on. 

Photo by Taylor on Unsplash

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By Ubee

Ubong Johnson (Ubee) is a relationship expert and writer. He writes articles that cover everything from relationships and nutrition to lifestyle. His works have appeared in several literary magazines, including The Shallow Tales Review, Ngiga Review, and the Kalahari Review. He is the founder and editor of Fiction Niche.

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