Many couples have described their wedding day as the best day of their life. However, many marriages that start well do not stay that way for long. Some marriages have lasted up to 20, 50, 60, or more years. With high rates of divorce, you might wonder how that is possible. Building an enduring, happy marriage is not simple, but it is certainly possible. Like every other good thing, happy marriage takes work.
If you are willing to invest the time and effort, you too can build a happy and, long-lasting marriage. All couples seek joy from their union although, not everyone achieves this goal. How then, can you help your marriage become successful. In this article, I’m going to tell you the qualities of a happy and successful marriage. You will get to see practical ways you can implement and improve on these attributes of a happy marriage.
Qualities Of a Happy Marriage
It is important to note that the qualities of a happy marriage provide unity and strengthen marriages. However, some negative behavior slowly tears down the love that marriages are supposed to have. Moreover, your excitement about the future of your marriage can last long and achieve your hopes and dreams. Below are the qualities of a happy and successful marriage and how you can apply them?
Love is the foundation for successful marriages. If this foundation is not strong enough, a trouble-like storm can easily tear down your marriage. So, love is an important quality all happy marriages should have. The definition of love has always been a matter of argument. But we will use a simple definition in regards to our discussion.
Love in marriage is an unselfish and, unconditional affection towards a spouse. It involves showing respect for each other’s feelings and emotions. In other words, it means putting your spouse’s interest above yours.
Your commitment to your spouse is an example of displaying love. Commitment is easy to display when things are going smoothly. However, remaining committed during trials of marriage is what true love is. Changing your mentality from “me” to “we” and, “mine” to “ours”. This means that you feel as concerned about the welfare of your mate as you do about your own. In summary, your willingness to work things out when there is a problem in the marriage shows the depth of your love for your spouse.
See the article: Five Important Love Languages You should Know
2. Effective Communication
Effective communication helps increase understanding between married couples. Further, you can achieve your goals with your spouse with ease and resolve problems better. Granted, there will be communication problems sometimes. You probably may come from different cultures and have a diverse upbringing and, as a result, have different methods of communicating.
There is good communication in a marriage when couples learn to talk about their thoughts and feelings in an honest but kind way. Each spouse has to be considerate when sharing information or communicating. Therefore, you want to wait for a better time to speak to your spouse if they are tired or busy. You want to makes it clear to your mate that their thoughts and feelings are important to you.
Women usually prefer to talk out a problem before listening to a solution. Sometimes just listening to them can be the solution. Therefore husbands want to be attentive and listen carefully as their wife pours her thoughts to them. Do not be in a haste to give a solution instead listen to their complaints first. Applying these thoughts to your home will help your family be happy and successful.
One of the most important qualities of a happy marriage is forgiveness. To forgive means that you let go of a wrong and any feelings of anger it may have caused. However, this does not mean that you minimize the wrong or pretend it never happened. Rather, you are looking past the occurrence.
Forgiveness allows both mates to give each other the benefit of the doubt rather than to “keep score” of wrongs. It is easier to be forgiving when you accept your spouse fully, including their flaws. When you truly forgive, you don’t seek to get revenge or look for a way to get back at your spouse.
Successful marriage partners learn to show constant endurance and forgiveness to their partners. Forgiving each other freely helps to create an environment that keeps resentment in check and allows love to grow. Calmly explain why you feel offended. Do not attribute their action to bad motives or be adamant, as this will make your spouse be on the defensive. Instead, simply relate how your spouse’s actions affected you.
You want to be quick to resolve issues and not let problems linger. However, do not focus on the initial reactions of your spouse. Rather your main focus should be on the problem or action you disagree on. In addition, couples of a happy marriage humbly admit their own faults and do not expect perfection from their partner.
4. Faithfulness / Fidelity
Although popular values have shifted in modern times, allowing different types of marriage arrangements. Most couples still view faithfulness as important. Keeping extramarital affairs is not acceptable and is inconsiderate to your spouse.
Sexual faithfulness in marriage involves more than just our bodies. It involves controlling your eyes, mind, heart, and soul. That is to say, flirting with a person who is not our spouse portrays unfaithfulness. Having sexual fantasies about another person hinders faithfulness to your spouse.
Sexual faithfulness requires self-control and recognition of the consequences. You should never neglect your mate but, rather, you both should sort out ways to make each other happy. Make your mate feel needed and appreciated. You want to avoid any romantic attachment to a person other than your mate.
Your commitment to your spouse should be obvious for people to see. Infidelity destroys trust. Therefore, considering your mate’s feelings should make you end any relationship that would make your mate uncomfortable.
Empathy is putting yourself in someone else’s position. That is to say, you try to relate to the feelings of your spouse in a particular situation. You should try to be aware of what your spouse’s feelings are and why they feel that way. Empathy involves both the use of your head and your heart.
A partner should be able to empathize with their spouse regardless of whether they’ve had gone through something similar. This quality is crucial for any marriage to survive, as it’s an essential part of truly understanding another person.
Humility is vital in a successful marriage. However, without humility, it will be difficult to display other qualities when there is a challenge. It is easier for you and your spouse to apologize quickly when both of you are humble. This helps you to have the right view of yourself and the problem.
Humility will help you to accept an apology when your spouse wrongs you. This will help both of you, not to think only about their personal feelings, but to focus on solving the problem. Humility can help a couple to appreciate each other’s good qualities and abilities.
Mutual trust is one of the fundamental qualities of a happy marriage. This quality helps marriage to thrive. When you trust your spouse, you have confidence that they have your interest at heart. It means that both spouses are not afraid that private matters would not be spread about or misused. Trust helps couples to resolve marital problems and conflicts better since you trust your partner’s intention was not to harm you.
Trust gives you the confidence to express your real feelings without fear of being belittled. Partners of a happy marriage do not have exaggerated confidentiality or become overly secretive. Rather, they communicate freely with their spouse. Mutual trust helps a spouse to accept correction without any resentment.
You can enhance trust in your marriage, by reflecting on the tender, romantic feelings of your courtship and wedding day. Bringing to mind such warm memories will help you subdue any resentment or irritation for your spouse.
Happy marriages are distinct by a deep and true friendship. It takes time to grow and understand each other. Couples in happy marriages make out time for their partners even when they have a busy schedule.
This helps to raise their friendships by demonstrating fondness and admiration, allowing each spouse to influence the other. Spend time and make each other feel special, confide in each other, work together on projects and, calmly discuss issues together builds fondness in the marriage.
In conclusion, as you and your spouse embark on your marital journey, I employ you to copy these positive qualities of a happy marriage and make your marriage a happy and long-lasting one. Remember that your focus is to make your spouse happy. If you and your spouse concentrate on the other’s happiness you surely will get through difficult times.
Photo by Gustavo Fring from Pexels and Gad Wedding Photography