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Nagging doubts about marriage? – Signs You’re Ready For Marriage

by | Meeting People, Moving On

Jul 31, 2021

Marriage is a lifelong bond and not an act anyone should take lightly. It’s best to know if you’re truly ready for marriage before committing yourself to one. By making sure of it, you can avoid much heartache and damage, to yourself, your spouse, and your children who will someday also be tomorrow’s potential mothers and fathers.

A healthy marriage requires a ton of work, effort, commitment, and sacrifice to maintain. Many today are choosing to live together without getting legally married in order to avoid the problems associated with marriages. They follow this path because they want to be able to break up their commitment whenever they desire. 

Are you having nagging doubts about marriage? To help you make a good decision on whether to make a lifelong commitment, here are the signs to know if you’re ready for marriage.

Relationship with others

Everyone has different personalities, opinions, and ways of doing things. This variety makes life interesting, and you can learn a lot from your future partner. But sometimes our differences may cause us to misunderstand our partners and become irritated with them. At times, we may get offended or our feelings may get hurt.

How is your relationship with others? Your family, friends, and work colleagues? Do you treat them well or do you often get into arguments with them? if they were asked by others about your kind of person, how would they respond? Do you think it will be something good? For example, They will say: he is easygoing. She is kind and patient. He doesn’t use harsh or sarcastic language to make a point. She’s a very lovable person. 

When your family and friends say nice things about you when asked by others who you really are, then it’s most likely you’re good at keeping relationships. You don’t have to go into a marriage for fear that you’re not ready. Your previous relationships tell more about how you deal with others and if you’re ready for marriage.

Pleasant demeanor

A relationship is the blending of two dissimilar personalities that are maybe compatible but hardly identical. Even well-matched couples will experience conflict from time to time. According to a study, too much conflict and arguing is the third leading cause of divorces while lack of commitment and fidelity being the first.

What’s your attitude or outward behavior like? Do you get along well with others or do you always insist on doing things your way? If others can tolerate you and can find no problems working with you, then getting married shouldn’t be an issue. That is what marriage is like—Working peacefully together with someone, being patient and reasonable, compromising, and the willingness to adjust your view. 

Also, you should ask yourself if you’re positive or pessimistic. If you’re optimistic, you will better cope during stressful times and you will be less prone to freakouts.

Can manage finances

Every one of us needs money to provide our families with the things they need. Money serves as a protection for us and our family. Consider these questions before you go into marriage.

  • Are you often in debt?
  • Can you hold onto a job for a long time
  • How well do you handle money?
  • Do you think you can handle the finances of others well?

Think about these questions, and if you do not have difficulty handling finances or keeping a job, then you’re ready to go into a serious relationship. Study findings show that financial problems are among the top five major contributors of divorce. Be sure to manage very well if you want your marriage to succeed. 

There are ways to avoid financial issues in your marriage. Ensure you make plans to reduce your expenses. Also, communicating with your partner about funds will help to maintain peace in your marriage.

Read also:
20 Tips on How to Prepare For Marriage While Single
The Eight Qualities of a Happy Marriage

Trust each other

In today’s world, there is so much mistrust. Many married couples rarely talk to each other and are unable to confide in each other. Instead, some turn to alcohol, drugs to try to flee from their problems. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership which means trusting and confiding in your partner.

if you find it hard to trust another person, then you’re not ready for marriage. You’ll only be ready to commit to a lifelong partnership only if you trust your partner.

To become fully committed to someone, both of you must learn to trust one other. Equally important, you and your partner need to develop a lifelong friendship. When you are the best friend of your other half, your commitment to the marriage will grow.

Love one another

To love someone is far different from infatuation—what you feel and attraction—what you see. Real love is not based solely on physical appearance or feelings. It’s not the same as what storybook romances portray. Love is knowing everything about a person’s strengths and weaknesses and it grows over time.

Do you know everything about your potential marriage mate? their strengths and weaknesses? If you can put up with them without the slightest doubt, then you love this person and it will only continue to grow as time goes on.

When you truly love someone, you’re going to endure all things no matter what happens with them. Not because you’re ignorant of their weaknesses and strengths but because you’re fully aware of what they are.

Imagine your potential mate’s main weakness is being selfish and his strength is that he is very trustworthy. But then you’re aware of all these and you still decide to love him because you can trust him despite his weakness then both of you are going to have a long-term relationship. 

You will be able to put up with him because you already know his weaknesses. They are not new to you because it’s something he will always become guilty of. You may only hope that he changes as time goes on.

So what’s important in love is being drawn to someone because of their good qualities and meanwhile knowing fully well of and accepting their negative personalities. A solid marriage would result.

Respect each other

is not a luxury; it is a requirement in marriage. Men, in particular, take respect as a very important necessity and women need respect too. Here are some self-examining questions to ask yourself to know if you’re ready for marriage.

  • Do I speak respectfully to my future partner? 
  • Do I raise my voice a little bit higher when I make an observation or a complaint?
  • How often do I criticize my man or woman compared with how often I compliment them?

If your would-be mate agrees with your answers to these questions and they say you show them respect at all times, then you’re ready for marriage. But if the opposite is the case, you have areas to work on before you finally commit yourself to a lifelong partnership.

There are many ways you can show respect to your mate. 

  • Assisting them in whatever they do so they feel that their efforts are worthwhile and that they are important to the marriage. 
  • Giving your would-be-mate adequate time and attention
  • Compliment them every now and then. 
  • Remind them what you admire about them. Here are some important pointers to work on.
  • Listening to each other.
  • Speaking kindly to each other.
  • Be compromising
  • Value each other

Bottom Line

Living up to the pointers mentioned in this article requires maturity. Thus, it is better not to marry until you are past the period when sexual feelings run strong and can alter one’s judgment. 

Statistics reveal that people who marry at a young age are more likely to be unhappy and seek an end to their marriage than those who marry when they are older. It is best not to rush into marriage. Be sure to understand yourself better and see if you have these qualities:

  • A good relationship with others
  • Pleasant demeanor
  • Can manage finances
  • Trust, love, and have respect for your potential mate

If you exhibit all these qualities, then it is a sign that you’re ready for marriage. You can be sure to have a healthy marriage life. Remember, there is no marriage without problems, but you can overcome the problems as they come and have a long, peaceful marriage.

Photo by Євгенія Височина on Unsplash

By Emilie Schleif

Emilie Schleif is a Lifestyle Writer at Whatsdalatest, where she covers all things relationships and wellness—born and raised in La Canada Flintridge. She currently lives in Hamburg and loves running, hiking, and walking with her dog, Jasper.

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