You may be struggling with starting and maintaining friendships because you are not unattractive. The first step to changing that is getting to that spot where you can be truthful with yourself about these things, where you can say: “Maybe I am not so attractive.” This article takes you there. Here are 10 signs you are not unattractive.
1. You are Not Confident
Many have described confidence as one of the most attractive things a person can have.
Lade told us: “I think confidence in a man especially is a must-have. It makes him seem in control and makes the relationship better.”
If you find that you struggle to feel confident, then you may have to pay more attention to yourself and build your confidence the right way.
Confidence must not be built on lies; instead, it has to be built on your abilities, your character, and your achievements.
2. You Brag
Bragging is amongst the most unattractive things there are in this world. People who brag repel people more than they attract.
One sign you are unattractive is that you brag so much. It shows you are not confident. You believe, weirdly so, that you have to be in people’s faces to be seen.
But I will tell you what: you don’t have to be in people’s faces to be seen. People can love and appreciate you even when you are not in their faces all the time.
I will give you a little tip: when next you feel the need to brag, remind yourself that people can see you without your having to show them.
3. You Lie
Lying is also a way to mask problems with confidence and self-esteem.
It is also pretty unattractive. Pamela told us that she considers lying to be the most unattractive thing about a man.
“When a man lies compulsively, I see a broken person when I look at him. That is not attractive to me at all.”
If you struggle with lying, maybe it is time to watch yourself a bit more closely whenever you are around people.
A rule to help you is this: if you have to lie about it, then you do not have to say it.
4. You are Too Nice
Have you ever heard that nice guy don’t get any women? Of course, this includes both guys and girls.
Nice girls don’t get any men too.
This is because niceness, in itself, is some form of deception. Nice people are really not agreeable. They just present themselves that way because it promises to get them some kind of favors.
For example, a nice guy may not be happy about giving a woman a gift but go ahead to give it to her anyway. He does this against his wish, just so he can get her to like him.
More often than not, she does not like him because of the gift. And then what happens? He becomes very apprehensive and resentful.
Perhaps you are unattractive because you are nice.
5. You Pursue Too Much
What I mean is you never let people reach out to you. Instead, you reach out to them all the time.
This is one big sign that you are unattractive. If you are attractive, you will not have to chase anyone. At least not that much.
Let us do an experiment: stop pursuing your friends for a while. Let’s say a week or two. Do they notice your absence or just move on with their lives as though nothing happened?
If the second is true, you are most likely not attractive to them.
6. Your Fashion Game is Low
Believe me, what you put on has a very big influence on how attractive you are. If your fashion game is up, people will find you very attractive.
If not, they will think you are unattractive.
You know your fashion game is a bit low if your friends complain about what you wear, even if they make it sound like a joke.
“Wow, Jane, your dress looks pretty weird.” Is all it takes to ring a bell.
Give more attention to what you wear. Dress like a champ.
7. You Pretend to be Someone Else
Many people, upon subconsciously realizing that they may not be attractive enough, develop a coping mechanism that can be damaging in the long run.
This coping mechanism is what I call the pretense mechanism.
Here, the person who does not feel attractive enough picks an attractive person they admire—and for the following weeks or months, they pretend to be someone else.
This usually works at first, but eventually, it backfires. If you find that you are pretending to be someone else, it is time to take a step back!
8. You Overcompensate
Yes, you do too much. That is a big, big sign that you are very unattractive.
The thing about attraction is that it is not so strict. When a person is attracted to you, anything you do is going to be enough.
You could get them the cheapest jewelry in the world, and they will appreciate it as though you gave them the best gift ever.
On the other hand, if they don’t find you attractive, nothing will be enough. To deal with this, you will often have to overcompensate.
You will chase more. Gift more. Literally, bear the weight of everything.
9. Your Energy Dampens the Room
If you walk into a room filled with friends who had been laughing before you walked in there, and all of a sudden, they get quieter, then it is a big sign that you are not attractive.
Unattractive people have this dampening effect on others. So, if you feel you do that, then there’s some work to be done.
10. You Feel It.
You can become as attractive as you want to be. You only have to find out what might be making you unattractive and combat it.