Every relationship starts to plunge into chaos when the emotional intimacy starts to dwindle. At first, this left shift of emotional intimacy may go unnoticed. But over time, the effects are usually grand, sometimes irreversible. It is, therefore, important that couples be sensitive to signs that there is no longer emotional intimacy in their relationships. We have compiled a list of some of the earliest signs that mark a shift in emotional intimacy.
1. It Feels Safer to Talk to Other People
Emotional intimacy usually shows up as safety. This is why you will usually hear very intimate couples say stuff like: “It feels so safe talking to her.”
The disappearance of this safety marks the disappearance of intimacy.
If you find it harder to talk to your partner and easier to talk to other people: say, your coworker. Then, the intimacy is leaving, and the best you can do is find ways to bring it back.
The first way to pull this off is to spend less time talking to other people. While it might feel safe, it is very damaging to your relationship.
Spend less time talking to others—spend more time talking to your partner.
2. You Feel Dissatisfied
You will be surprised by the number of relationships that fall apart because one partner starts to feel dissatisfied but says nothing for weeks and months.
Dissatisfaction is not a sign you overlook.
It is a sign that something has gone very wrong, and the emotional intimacy in that relationship is being etched away.
At first, the dissatisfaction begins like an itch. You just feel “very uncomfortable” for no reason. You think about why, but still, nothing.
But the funny thing is this: this feeling will often go away when you start to spend less time with your partner.
Don’t overlook it. There is something wrong.
3. Sex is Not as Great as it Used to be
A lot of people think a disconnect in emotional intimacy is going to greatly affect the amount of sex a couple has. This is only true if this disconnect has been on for quite some time.
If it has only been on for a little while, it will have too little effect on the amount of sex. Rather, it will have an effect on the intimacy of the sex.
You could be having as much sex as you used to. But it will not feel so great anymore. It will feel like a chore.
Of course, it has become a chore. An obligation that should be done. But should sex feel like an obligation? Of course not. It must feel like the beauty that it is. Sex is beautiful in its purest form.
4. You Have Less Sex
As an aftermath of a drop in the intimacy you and your partner experience in bed, there is going to be a drop in the quantity of sex you both have.
You will usually have so little sex that one or both of you starts to feel sexually deprived.
It is at this point that a lot of people start to cheat on their spouses. Especially men, since men seem to seek other means to attain sexual pleasure when one means happens to be failing.
5. Other People Start to Seem More Attractive
Do you know that our attraction to our spouses has a limiting effect on our attraction to other people?
When we are deeply attracted to our partners, we seem to be able to look only in their direction.
When this attraction and intimacy wane away, we are then able to look in the direction of other people.
If, for some reason, you start to find other people deeply attractive, it is because the emotional intimacy in your own relationship is starting to falter.
6. You no Longer Seek to Please Your Partner
One of the hallmarks of love, especially love in the feminine form, is a desire to nurture and please.
When we are firmly attached to our partners, it is our deepest desire to please them; to make them proud.
When this desire starts to go dim, it means there is something wrong.
And most of the time, it is going to be something wrong with emotional intimacy.
7. Their Compliments Do Not Mean So Much to You Anymore
When we are deeply attached to our partners, their compliments mean the world to us.
Your partner may tell you that they like how you smile. And guess what? You will go on to smile for most of that day. ‘
They may tell you that they like your cloth and that cloth will go on to be your favorite dress.
This changes when you no longer share so much emotional intimacy with your partner anymore.
Their compliments will become more shallow. In fact, they may start to annoy you.
8. There is so Much Negative Energy Hovering Around
When you both are together, there will be so much negative energy around you that the intimacy is gone.
It is usually hard to describe this feeling. Some women say it is resentment. But I think it goes a little beyond resentment. It is a form of anger that seeks to empty itself.
It is also some kind of blame because you may even be blaming your partner for you both arriving here.
And guess what? They may be blaming you too.
You know the intimacy is gone when all you do, is play the blame game.
9. You No Longer Respect Them so Much
A marked drop in the level to which you respect your partner is indicative of detaching emotions.
At this point, the next to that usually follows is a complete emotional detachment that shows up as wanting to leave the relationship.
10. You Think About Leaving
This pretty much explains itself. Act fast, or the relationship may not survive this.
You have to act fast when you sense that emotional intimacy is waning. Or you might lose your relationship.