Mommy issues begin in childhood and may last long into adulthood, impacting relationships negatively. They arise due to a dysfunctional relationship with a mother, a mother figure, or neglect from parents. Dealing with a man who has mommy issues can be hard. But figuring out whether or it is a mommy issue is the first big step. Here are 10 signs of mommy issues in men.
1. Inability to Resolve Conflicts
One of the easiest signs of mommy issues to recognize in men is a marked inability to resolve even the slightest conflicts.
Since men with mommy issues have felt like they are the problem all their lives, when a conflict comes up, they immediately feel like it is their fault and go into defensive mode.
They may also escalate the problem to a very unimaginable degree.
If you are dealing with a man who seems to escalate even the littlest things, chances are: you are dealing with a man who has got mommy issues.
The best you can do for him is let him see that he is an amazing person and it is not his place to take responsibility for every conflict.
2. Defensiveness and Victimhood
This is what causes most of the issues you find in men who have mommy issues.
They allow themselves to slip into victimhood, which makes them very entitled and defensive.
I believe this has to do with the fact that a lot of men who have mommy issues admit that they have had to deal with bullying at some point in their lives.
Bullying makes a person defensive and very entitled. You could literally be speaking about someone else, but a man who has mommy issues will take what you have said upon himself.
3. Low Self Esteem
Men who have mommy issues also seem to have low self-esteem. I believe this stems from the fact that they have never felt enough for the mother figure in their lives.
Not feeling enough for your family is able to mess a person up mentally. It is able to make them outdo themselves in trying to please. In the process, they may lose their true selves and take on a personality quite far from who they are.
This generally leads to low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem, sadly, is not something you can just brush off. You may have to take your man to therapy. Or at least be his support system. Show him that you genuinely love him and don’t care about whether or not he is perfect.
What matters is that he tries to be better.
4. Trust Issues
Low self-esteem and victimhood go hand in hand with trust issues.
One who perpetually sees himself as a victim is going to be consumed by a lot of paranoia. He will feel like someone out there is out to get him. Or betray him.
This lack of trust is greatly going to impact your relationship. The best you can do is show him he can trust you. You don’t do this by indulging him. No. The more you indulge, the worse it gets.
You don’t have to give him your passwords. You just have to let him see that not everyone is out to harm him. He may have had a trashy childhood. But you are his future now, and you have got him no matter what.
5. Anger Problems
Of all the men I know who have anger issues, more than half have mommy issues.
I think this is some kind of mirror response. Since their mothers or other female figure had likely been hostile to them when they were younger, they go on to meet this hostility in the rest of the world.
The anger problems can range from mild tantrums to very severe ones that may even involve him wanting to hit you.
An anger management therapist can be of great help.
If a man who has mommy issues had a father who seemed to always cheat on his wife, he might be very disloyal to you as well.
A lot of people see disloyalty as a disease in itself. I don’t. I think disloyalty is a symptom more than it is a disease. Disloyalty tells you he is running from something. It is something of a coping mechanism.
Only terrified men cheat.
So, if your man is constantly disloyal to you, he likely has mommy issues he has not told you about yet.
You can help him by getting him to open up about his childhood. He can seek healing from there.
7. Addiction to Porn
Like disloyalty, addiction is a coping mechanism. It is a means to seek shelter against extreme forms of emotion by tweaking the body’s reward system.
Most men who have mommy issues seem to be addicted to porn. It is their go-to guy when they are having a bad day.
This addiction to porn changes the way they view women in general. They may even start to see women as mere objects of pleasure.
Men with mommy issues have been trained since childhood to believe that their mothers are the only trustworthy people in the world.
So, throughout their adult lives, they seek women who would replace their mothers. When they find one, they latch onto this woman and do let go.
They become very dependent on her, like a parasite that cannot survive without its host.
Misogyny is a form of hatred towards women that may be intense or mild.
Almost without exception, men with mommy issues have a mangled view of women, which makes them hate or look down on women in their lives.
If you are dating a man who is this way, it is sad that you may never be able to cope.
10. Pathological Lying
One is considered a pathological liar if he is drawn to lying even when there is no reason to.
Pathological liars seem to have esteem-related issues similar to the ones found in men who have mommy issues.
Men with mother issues use it as a coping mechanism or a way to gain validation or control. They may use lying as a defense mechanism to avoid confronting their unresolved emotions or insecurities related to their moms or the female figure.
Mummy issues impact relationships more than you realize.