The worst thing you can do is wrongly accuse your husband of cheating when he is actually innocent. It can damage your relationship forever. Trust, respect, honesty, and loyalty are probably the most important values of a functioning and healthy relationship. It becomes a problem when one or all of these values are no longer held in high regard.
When you realize that your partner has changed significantly, you may start doubting his loyalty. With the increasing uncertainty, the urge to know whether your husband is actually cheating on you grows. But first, let’s look at the major reasons why men cheat on their wives.
Why do some men cheat?
Married men cheat for different reasons. The reasons vary from one person to another. Cheating husbands have always been there. Despite the high risks involved, men still cheat, women too. But for this article, we will only focus on husbands. The following are some reasons why men cheat.
- Some men cheat to get out of the shackles of married life.
- Since sex was simply available and they couldn’t say no, this is especially true in office jobs.
- Some men cheat because they feel unaccepted at home
- Because their wives nagged a lot
- Some men cheat because they are simply bored
- To cope with the stress of life.
- An extramarital partner makes them feel wanted more than their wives.
- Some cheat to overcome the middle-life crisis.
- Some men cheat out of insecurity.
- For some, cheating is just that impulse of the moment when they drank too many drinks.
- For some, they do it to exact revenge on their wives.
- Frustration with their wives could trigger cheating behavior.
- Some just like to do it voluntarily.
- Sex life is not so charming, and a new relationship is like a wave of fresh wind
6 Signs of a cheating husband.
1. He deletes some entries on his phone every day.
Nowadays, few people can live without cell phones. In everyday life, a cell phone is an important means for a person to contact another, communicate, seek information, and much more. There is no doubt that a person will leave some traces on his phone. By following such clues, it is easy to find out someone’s social connections.
If your spouse intentionally clears the history on his phone daily, that means he doesn’t want you to find out what he did on his phone. Only a person who has something to hide will intentionally delete the records on his phone.
If you want to find out if your man is cheating, from time to time:
- Take his phone, and check the recent call history and the dates he made the calls.
- Check again and see if his recent calls are still there.
- Do this several times a week.
- Take note of some of the numbers
- If you can’t find the call history all the time, just know that he is hiding something from you.
It could as well be something different other than an affair. But then again, I do not recommend checking your spouse’s phone except you have a very good or concrete reason to do so. Otherwise, it will break the trust in the relationship.
2. He gets exasperated when you ask him simple questions.
When you ask him a question like, for example, “Why wasn’t I able to reach you on the phone during the afternoon?” or Why didn’t I find you at work today? He will respond in a not too polite way. He will act like you’re intruding into his privacy. Instead of him to say for example, “My battery was down,” or “I was in a meeting,” or “I went to see a friend,” he will say, “Don’t you trust me anymore?” or Why are you so inquisitive?
A cheating man is likely to use questions to answer questions or react negatively. Also, he may give you a stern look. Cheating is a stressful activity for everyone involved, which means simple everyday questions will become irritating.
3. Huge changes in his schedule.
When your significant other, who is always back from work on time and never for once returned late, starts coming back at odd hours, know that something is not right. Your husband didn’t use to travel on business trips or go out during the weekends, but now he always has something to do during weekends away from home without you and always traveling, then know something is amiss.
If he suddenly comes up with excuses every day and not just twice or once in a month, he is most likely having an affair. That could be a sign of infidelity.
4. Change in emotional behavior
If your partner has been reacting particularly emotionally for a long time, it may be due to cheating. Perhaps it could be that he is upset because he is in the middle of emotional chaos. You notice that something is obviously different, but you do not know if it’s an affair behind it.
If in doubt, speak to him about his changed behavior. If he reacts strangely and cannot provide any plausible reasons, you should get to the bottom of your uneasy feeling. The telltale signs he will exhibit in this situation are:
- drastic mood swings
- constant irritability
- tense mood
- inappropriate attitude
To tell if your man is cheating, watch out for his body language. Liars have a particular body language when hiding something. For example, he may try to intimidate and control you with a cold, steady gaze or blink rapidly. His lies will reflect in the agitated, pinched facial features.
5. He fights and gets angry unnecessarily.
Every couple has arguments, but stress can show in his behavior when a man tries to balance two relationships. He can look stressed and quarrel with you at the slightest provocation, and he was a cool guy before.
Often, when a man is cheating, he looks for ways to fuel arguments and disagreements with his partner, and there are many reasons for this combat-driven phenomenon. First, many men who cheat are looking for ways to distract their partners and prevent them from figuring out what is going on behind their backs. They will use quarreling to divert their partner’s attention to other issues to keep them away from suspecting.
Whether it’s a disagreement about cleaning up the kitchen, walking the dog, or picking up a prescription at the pharmacy, he will use these seemingly insignificant fights and jokes to cover up major indiscretions. When your man is quarreling with you for no concrete reason, most likely, he wants you to withdraw and break away from him and the relationship.
Under normal circumstances, when a man starts mistreating a woman, critical of the things she does, and becomes argumentative, bad-tempered, and unreasonable, it’s not uncommon for a woman who finds herself in these situations to want to pull out of the relationship.
Some guys who choose to fight can use this as an excuse to leave the argument so that the real problem never has a chance to get out. Others will use this as an opportunity to go out and spend time with their double date.
6. A cheating man secretly uses his cellphone.
If he has a secret girlfriend, he has to stay in touch with her somehow. The cell phone is ideal for this. To hide the affair from you, he will start using his cellphone in secret— behind closed doors, in the toilet, and he won’t be talking in his usual way when on the phone. He will be uncomfortable and extra careful with his choice of words.
Some cheaters will secretly buy a second cell phone that they only use for the woman with whom they are having an affair, or they will change their password on the cell phone so that you can no longer have access inside. If you approach him about it, he will accuse you of being jealous for no reason and will give you unnecessary excuses. Cheaters don’t let their cell phones out of their sight for a moment. They will hold it in a way that you don’t see the display while they are typing.
Let’s say, for example, your man used to leave his cell phone on the table or bed without any special security. Now, he is overprotective of it and will guard it as if his life depended on it when he started seeing another woman. Then know that something is wrong. If you raise your concerns and ask your partner the password, he shouldn’t normally mind. If it poses a problem for him, then the question arises, “Why?” And most of the time, it is the case that he has something to hide.
What to do if your man is cheating?
Once your man breaks your trust by getting romantically involved with another person, it will be difficult for you to trust him again. Your man might be sorry and tell you to give him another chance. Some women have found that they can forgive a repentant husband and rebuild their relationship. However, the decision to accept him even after getting to know about his affair should be your sole decision. Whether you chose to forgive him or not, you will invariably suffer some extent of intense agony.
Many women who have forgiven their unfaithful, repentant husbands have been able to pull the marriage back into an excellent and satisfactory condition.
Often, the cheating husband appreciates his innocent and merciful wife much more. He may even recognize some great qualities like humility and love that perhaps he didn’t realize before, especially when he realized the terrible experience he has put her through.
How to deal with the aftermath of cheating
- Get as much support from family and friends as you can because recovering from such heartbreak is emotionally stressful. You should try to reach out to them, if possible, every day and unburdened your feelings on them, both in writing and in conversation. They will be there for you, support you, help you feel secure, and recover at your own pace.
- Another way to find consolation is by listening to music. It helps to quiet your mind and thoughts. Music is a great source of comfort, and it has a unique way of eliciting soothing feelings of joy and inspiration. You can also learn to play some musical instrument like the guitar or piano. The harmony needed for the music will aid you in recovering your inner peace and harmony.
- Suppose your husband refuses to end the extramarital affair and let go of his affair partner or becomes involved in another affair. In that case, you must proceed to maintain your self-esteem.
- Take time to think about your next step. Once you have confirmed the facts, take time to think it through. Try to find out the reasons for the affair before you decide.
While difficult, it is not impossible to move on together and rebuild your relationship after cheating.
Also, have at the back of your mind that the described signs above may have other logical explanations. Delays at work can be delays at work, and going to the gym can be an attempt to regain your attractive appearance and make your loved one happy.
There is no need to make assumptions if you suspect your man is cheating, but try to analyze all the facts once again before deciding the next steps. Everything secret will sooner or later become obvious. Only a small percentage of the intrigue remains undetected.
Aleksandra Nico, Psy.D., is a Psychologist and Editorial Assistant for Whatsdalatest who writes about mental health, relationships, human behaviour, and health. Aleksandra is passionate about helping others make well-informed choices to support and improve their physical and emotional well-being.