Have you ever wondered why it seems like you are doing too much but receiving too little from your partner? Have you also noticed it is a behavior that repeats itself, even when the spouse is changed? In this article, I will be showing you just why it almost always seems like you are being taken for granted:
1. She is Not Attracted to You
The first and most important thing to note when your partner begins to take you for granted is that this behavior shows a complete or almost complete lack of interest in you.
We don’t take things we love so much for granted. It is almost always the things we can do fine without.
If your partner begins to take you for granted, you should see it as she is telling you, and to your face: “Hey, I can do just fine without you, and I want you to deal with it.”
Guess what I want you to do? Of course, I want you to deal with it. Treat her with the same energy. Take her for granted, not paying attention to their needs if they do not pay attention to yours.
2. They are Cheating or Have Cheated
Cheating can show up in many ways. A change in behavior that has happened all of a sudden, especially following the emergence of someone new, points to the fact that there is some infidelity in the background.
She may have just cheated or is about to. But one thing I know for sure is that this new someone is taking all her time and attention, and as a result, she has begun to treat you with disregard.
The best thing to do at this point is to walk away. It is needless trying to change their mind. Trying to show someone how much you are worth is setting yourself up to be disrespected.
Don’t do it. No matter what happens, don’t.
3. They Think You Will Never Leave
There is always that someone who thinks they are invincible and cannot be done without.
Most of the time, they turn out to be narcissists: how they treat others usually gives this away.
You will notice that these people take not only you for granted but other people for granted as well.
It is not about you. It is about them. They think the world is theirs, and they can step into every part of it without being disturbed.
Read: How to Ignore Someone
4. You Have not Set Boundaries
One of the most common problems I run into when I meet people who have partners who take them for granted is this: they almost always fail to establish boundaries at the start of the relationship.
Do not be this way.
No matter how beclouded you feel by the affection, remember this rule: HOW YOU LET THEM TREAT YOU AT THE START OF THE RELATIONSHIP IS HOW THEY WILL TREAT YOU THROUGHOUT THE RELATIONSHIP.
Don’t let them get away with anything you cannot cope with in the long term. Don’t excuse bad behavior. Instead, as I will be showing in the next paragraph, call it out.
5. You Don’t Call Out Bad Behavior
Another reason they take you for granted is because you do not call out bad behavior.
Bad behavior can be very steep. But it only goes as deep as you let it: if you let it go on, then it will.
Upon realizing that they can get away with just about anything, partners will often treat the complacent partner as though they don’t matter.
They will take this partner for granted, only stopping when this partner is no longer interested in the relationship or when the partner decides they can no longer deal with the disrespect.
6. You are Dishonest
You should know that dishonesty is one of the most potent invites to disrespect. Every time anyone shows that they cannot be trusted to keep to their word, they are saying: “Hey, I want you to disrespect me: I want you to treat me as though I don’t matter.”
Truly honest people command respect without having to try.
Dishonest people command disrespect without having to try as well.
7. You Let Your Friends and Family Disrespect You
People will often learn to treat you by observing how other people treat you.
If you let your family and friends get away with disrespecting you, your partner is going to get a cue from this and begin to take you for granted.
Shalom tells us a story about Mark, with whom she was in a relationship that lasted a couple of months.
She says Mark learned to treat her from her mother as though she didn’t matter.
She says her mother often called her names, and it didn’t take so long for Mark to pick the habit up.
“He was much worse than her and said even more hurtful things.”
Do not let anyone get away with talking to you with disrespect, especially family.
8. You Have Cheated Before
This is particularly true if your partner says they have forgiven you but do not stop talking about what happened.
They are taking you for granted because you have lost value in their eyes: they now see you as someone who does nothing but lie.
It may also be a trauma response. They may have it in mind to truly forgive you but cannot bring themselves to forget what truly happened.
9. You are Trying too Hard
Don’t be a fixer. Fixers get taken for granted. By fixer, I mean someone who does not mind sidelining their own needs as long as there are promises that there will be some kind of peace.
Don’t do this. Don’t be this person.
As much as you have the interest of your partner in mind, have your own interest in mind, too.
10. The Relationship Has Reached its End
I am sorry, but this is how it gets when the relationship reaches its end.
Someone may take you for granted as a response to a battle within themselves or a response to what you have done.