He loves me, He loves me not! Is my partner cheating or are I am just paranoid? Being cheated on is something every lady in a relationship dreads. And the only thing worse than being cheated on is not knowing if it is really happening or if you are just paranoid.
You doubt the faithfulness of your partner. You suspect his every move; you eavesdrop on every phone call; you wonder about his whereabouts when he is not home. You try to snoop through his phone.
If you ever get to this point, then you are most likely picking up some signs or new behaviours that tip you off. There might also be absolutely nothing going on. You are probably just paranoid; however, you need to find out if your partner is cheating.
Being the other woman in your relationship or knowing about another woman is a scary thought to brood on. I understand the torture of being betrayed and lied to ─ no one deserves this kind of treatment you are getting from him. For this reason, it’s better to look out for some signs and symptoms of a cheating partner to help you understand what is really going on. Here are signs to watch out for to know if your partner cheating.
1. The Big Change In Attitude.
Do you remember how loving and happy your man used to be? Has he suddenly… changed? Or perhaps he has been overly demanding and moody out of the blue. He no longer does things he used to do, no seems more withdrawn, and may even start chanting about needing space. These right here are signs that something fishy may just be going on.
Ladies, you may notice your partner suddenly becomes overly defensive when you ask him a simple question. It is probably because he is getting irritated at you and hiding things. If he blows up over stupid stuff, then he may cheat on you.
You should also note that there might be something deeper going on in his life or at his place of work that has him transferring his frustrations towards you. This is where communication becomes paramount in the relationship.
Also, keep in mind that he may just be stressing about another part of his life, like work, but it’s necessary to understand what’s going on. Depending on how strong your communication is in the relationship, you should be able to ask him about the problem and get him to open up about the sudden change.
If it isn’t something too personal, if he evades the questions or gets irritated about you asking, then there is a possibility that he is cheating on you.
When men cheat, they may start feeling resentful towards their partners. This might be because he feels you’re holding him back from being with the other woman – the one he’s cheating on you with. He may feel trapped and confused and put the blame on you.
Most times, he may resort to bad behaviour so you feel frustrated enough to end things by yourself. He may not be certain about whom to choose between you and the other woman, which can bring about some moodiness in his behavioural pattern. His moodiness could be from his inability to decide who he wants to be with.
2. The Perceived Flaw
Ladies, your man might ask you to change up a bit; this might be because he wants you to be a better version of yourself, and this is totally okay in a relationship. But when he focuses on a particular flaw and starts playing the comparison game, then there may just be another woman at the side.
She may possess all those features he continuously nags that you do not have. He may start questioning why you are not fun enough to discuss with or why you are not all that open-minded in the bedroom. He may start asking why you don’t act a certain way or even go as far as comparing you with the woman he’s with. All these whys may lead him to be hostile towards you.
He will definitely use this perceived flaw to his advantage by playing the blame game. Saying that he cheated because you couldn’t change yourself to be the woman he wants. No one enjoys fighting, and if he continues picking on you and is always putting you down, then he may just be looking for an excuse to end it with you.
Now, the question you need to ask yourself as a lady is, “Do you really want to be with someone who treats you that way?”
If you notice your partner suddenly change for seemingly no reason at all, it is definitely a red flag!
Your loving partner that was once very attentive suddenly does not seem to want to look you in the eyes while having conversations. He probably only ever smiles when he is texting on his phone and does not remember what you tell him till you keep on saying it. He barely even talks to you anymore and he is always on that bleeped phone!
He is slowly starting to disconnect from you. So, if this happens, he is trying to use the it’s-not-you-it’s-me card, or he might wait for you to take a hint and end things off, so he feels less guilty.
4. The Phone Giveaway
Does he step outside to have private conversations on his phone? Does he spend a lot of time in the bathroom with his cell phone? Do you notice him smiling at his phone a lot and playing on it when you are both watching T. V? Not sharing with you what he finds so intriguing? Do you feel neglected or replaced by his phone activity?
None of these things are good signs! They show something is up. Maybe he has made the decision that you are not the one who deserves his attention. Either that or he is cheating on you with someone else. (Probably even both)
Smartphones have made cheating simpler, but they have also made it easier to catch people who cheat. Here are a few hints to look out for:
- He’s suddenly overprotective of his phone.
- He always holds onto it.
- He has secret emails, texts, and work calls he can’t read or answer in front of you.
- He denies you access to his phone.
- He bought a new cell number you did not know about.
- He locks his phone and you don’t know the password.
If he is clearly less interested in making it work with you, try to move on from him and find a person who truly values you.
5. He Does Not Invite You To Hang Out With His Friends
Ladies, these guys are as thick as thieves, so there is a big chance that his friends know about the other woman. They might have probably even met her. If he is really cheating, his friends may be uncomfortable and act awkward around you.
He might also not want to introduce you to his friends in another case scenario.
If you have been dating a guy for quite some time, let us say a few months, you have probably heard him talk about his best friends. You may wonder why he has not introduced you to them yet, and you are within your rights to worry.
If he is serious about you and the relationship, he would most likely introduce you to the people he values the most. If he has not done that, you need to ask yourself why he keeps you at bay.
Keeping you a secret is usually not a good sign. Here, it may either mean that there is another woman somewhere, or you may just be a girl on the side. He may not have the desire to want to explain to people who you are or why you are with him, so he keeps you as far away from them as possible.
6. Your Gut Feeling
You know the feeling you get in your gut when something is wrong? That voice talking incessantly, that blames you when it is right? If your intuition is telling you something, then you should probably look into it!
Sometimes, relying on your intuition may help you realize his cheating ways. Your gut may pick up on brief shows of hostility. He may not be cheating, but it is in your best interest to find out what is going on.
7. Emotional Disconnect
No relationship is as intense as the first few months, but then we create a stronger bond as time goes on. This bond is a bond of trust, and it helps secure the progress of your relationship.
Emotional intimacy keeps the bond of trust in your relationship alive, and you also get to a point where you can tell your partner every and anything.
Now you feel as if he is acting emotionally distant and is probably withdrawing from you on a deeper level. Choosing to only talk about trivial things like what is for dinner. And even when you try to ask him about his mood swings, you find him recoiling, becoming very protective of his private life.
This is something he should be happy to share with you, but now he suddenly keeps to himself. This could be a sign he is cheating.
If he seems withdrawn, know that something is definitely wrong somewhere. Maybe he feels guilty, so he is distant, or he is getting connected to and shifting his focus at the other woman.
8. Spending More Than Usual
Ladies, you know that taking care of a woman can cost a lot. If you find out that your man’s budget increases or you notice that he’s spending frivolously, then there may be a cause for alarm.
If you don’t share an account, or if he is financially stable, you may notice little things like him not really giving thought to your birthday presents. You might stumble upon a double gift meant for you and the other woman.
Most times, he may complain about spending too much on you. He may cut down expenses on a date night and presents that you know he can afford because he needs to finance his other relationship.
9. Working Overtime For No Reason
Everyone gets those times when they need to push a little harder at work to meet up bills. If your partner doesn’t have a genuine reason to work overtime, then you should get worried.
If his job doesn’t need him to keep late nights or unexplained frequent job vacations, then there is another woman.
10. The Reverse Accusations
Ladies, your partner may very well be cheating on you when he is always hitting you with reverse accusations.
He’ll get suspicious or insecure about what you are up to because of the guilt he is feeling, especially if you coincidentally try something new in the course of him cheating.
11. The Clues
Finding lipstick on the collar, glitter on his clothes, or perfume on his shirt are never good signs. They usually mean a man is up to something that he shouldn’t be doing as he’s with you.
Of course, if you suspect your man of cheating, if you see these signs, try asking for an explanation because you deserve that much, at least. He may lie, so watch out for this kind of defensiveness.
12. The Lies
He lies to you. Lying repeatedly to their partners is one of the most quintessential qualities of men who cheat. Cheating men have to cover their tracks, which means lying about who they’re with, where they are, what they’re spending money on, and who they’re calling, emailing, or texting.
In fact, for many guys who cheat, their life ends up turning into one big lie. Because they’re left with cooking up stories, events, and happenings to keep their infidelity under wraps. And most times, this means fabricating and falsifying the truth to a point where it’s practically unrecognizable.
However, there are a few signs you can look out for that might help you decipher fact from fiction, and that means paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues.
For example, when people are lying, they repeat certain words, almost as if they recite lines from a script. Hoping the point, they’re trying to make will come across to the listener. They can complicate making something up on the spot as it is difficult. So people who lie stick with key lines to keep things simple.
Fortunately, when people lie, they sometimes overshare the amount of information that they provide and give way more detail and specifics than necessary. They do this to seem more honest, transparent, and believable, but it’s overkill in reality.
Besides what people say when they lie, it’s also important to note how they say it. You can pick up cues from here. Specifically, when people lie, they have a tendency to touch or cover their mouths when they talk, almost signalling that they’re holding something back.
It also inclines people to sway, sweat, fidget, and even shake nervously when they are being dishonest. So it is smart to look for any movements that seem anxious and unnatural for the person. It is also believed that when people lie, they look away from the other person because of the guilt!
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