Starting a new relationship can be exciting and full of hope for great things to come. Your new affair needs to have a solid foundation, which is why you need to discuss stuff. Make a list of things you will tell your partner about yourself. Let them have an idea of who you are: your fears, happiness, challenges, even medical issues. Get yourself prepared with these things to discuss in a new relationship.
1. Childhood And Past
We all have different childhood, which affects our lives. When you have a new partner, you might want to discuss that with them. Talk about growing up and the relationship with your parents and siblings. It would be best to talk about your past, including major events in your life before you met (1). Sharing such information will help your partner understand you more and support you. Never shy away from expressing yourself to the one you love.
2. Talk About Philosophy
Ideology and philosophy will determine the success of your relationship. You guys need to sit down and discuss what your take is about life. Your views on religion and what type of moral you hold in high esteem is essential.
Most of the time, no two people are ever going to have a 100% similar philosophy. But, there is always a way to find a middle ground the two of you can co-exist. During the process of the relationship, a partner will drop their ideology to follow the other. But knowing it at the beginning will help you understand how to relate appropriately.
3. Health Issues, Especially Mental Health
Physical, mental, and psychological health are important things to discuss in a new relationship. Your partner needs to know about your health condition in the past few decades. If you have a disease that affects you seasonally, they must know. If you’ve treated cancer, pre-diabetes, or STD, you should let them know as well.
Mental health issues should always be part of any discussion in a new relationship. It’s essential because you don’t want to give your partner a rude shock. Help your partner get ready for a possible medical emergency.
4. Goals for the Future
Everyone has a goal they want to achieve in their lives and the future. When you’re in a serious relationship with someone, their plan may affect your own. That is why the two of you need to share your long term and short term goals. By doing this, you both will find common ground to exist, which will benefit all.
You’ll also be better prepared to help them succeed in their various endeavors when they need you. Relationships thrive better when the two parties are growing together. Not one is growing, and the other one is stagnant because of relationship commitments.
5. Money Issues
Finance is one of those vital topics and things to discuss in a new relationship. If you have money issues, you need to let your partner know. Debts, loans, and other serious monetary issues should be on the list. Your partner deserves to know because when there is a problem, they will have to protect you. Not telling them beforehand will be embarrassing.
Also, when you let them know on time, they will be prepared for the worse. Even if they don’t bail you out, giving you emotional support is something. Never allow money issues to destroy your relationship and all the hard work.
6. Legal Problems
Your new partner also deserves to know any legal issues you might be facing. Legal challenges can take a toll on someone’s health. In the process, you will need all the support you can get from the ones you love. Not letting your partner know will be a betrayal, especially if things turn south.
If your partner wants to help, you must allow them to do so. Going through tough times together is one of the top things that bond couples. Make sure you don’t depend on your partner to fund your legal battles. Do everything you can to keep them from spending their money on your behalf. Be responsible for seeking help without hurting their finances.
7. Talk About Sex
The topic of sex is also essential for people in a new relationship. Before things get serious, the two of you will need to discuss sex. Having a conversation about sex will help both of you know what to expect. Two people coming together can’t have the same sex drive. But with a little discussion, you can make things work.
You create balance in a way that both partners will benefit. Sex is also important because it promotes bonding (2). Without sex, any small issues might turn into a terrible result that won’t go away. So, before you move on with the love affair, make sure you settle with sex.
8. Discuss Addictions
If you have addictions, you must let your partner know. Habits are serious because they affect our lives. Many people have ruined their lives because they couldn’t control their addictions. Even if you’re in the process of healing, you still need to talk about it. Habits like smoking, drinking, drugs, and so on must be part of the conversation.
Knowing about your addiction is an opportunity to get help. You don’t have to be afraid to talk about it because the person loves you. Share your story, build a strong foundation for love, and prepare for recovery. Most addictions will take time before they go away. You must prepare to do it with your partner until they win.
Some allergies are life-threatening, while others are not. Whatever the case may be, you need to get ready. Allergies are one of the important things to discuss in a new relationship. Your life may depend on it and your happiness as well. Let your partners know what triggers your allergies and how to treat them. Let them know the foods you don’t eat and the drinks that are forbidden.
When going out, unexpected things can happen. Your partner may order food you don’t eat. If they already know, it may help them to protect you. Discuss issues of allergies all the time until it sticks to their memory.
Aleksandra Nico, Psy.D., is a Psychologist and Editorial Assistant for Whatsdalatest who writes about mental health, relationships, human behaviour, and health. Aleksandra is passionate about helping others make well-informed choices to support and improve their physical and emotional well-being.