Are you tired of dating a casanova, an angry loser, or a violent guy?. Are you on the verge of giving up on men? Notwithstanding, you crave to share a meaningful life with a man you could grow old and gray together with. Besides, you don’t want to be lonely.
The goal of any lady dating a man is to have consistency, stability, and loyalty in it. I will be arming you with the right weapons of knowledge to bundle out any wrong man you come across below.
How to stop attracting the wrong men
1. Misconception: A lady can not stop attracting the wrong men with erroneous thinking that all men are the same. Sometimes, even going as far as generalizing that men are wicked. Consequently, when a man with negative energy comes into their lives. They just take him in completely like a fish swallowing a worm. Let me set the records straight; all men are not the same.
There are still men that can give you a heaven on earth experience. Notwithstanding, they are just rare. Another misconception to dispel is, “you can change him.” You can not change any man from being bad to good unless he is ready for it.
2. Self-esteem: When a lady has self-esteem issues, she will find it challenging to stop attracting the wrong men. She does not see herself deserving of any right man she meets. In some cases, they talk themselves out of compliments.
For instance, Chelsea started seeing Andy recently. Andy had commented on Chelsea looking stunning one evening. Chelsea instead of acknowledging him for it. She tells him right off the bat that she is not stunning. This is a huge turn off to any classy man. A quality man is attracted to a lady who has confidence in herself. Therefore, boost your self-esteem levels.
3. Avoid the fear of being alone: Fear is something that would make a lady cling to a man that is not treating her right. It is simply because the idea of being single is scary to her. Therefore, she jumps into the arms of any wrong man she sees. As far as he is, just a man is all that matters to her. She will never take her time to know if he is worth being with. Boom, catastrophe struck again, and she is back to the single and searching market. It is better to be alone and happy than to be in an unhealthy relationship.
4. Male role model: The kind of male role model a woman has can make a negative or positive impact on her relationship. If she has a male role model who has a stable, healthy relationship. She will have it printed on her mind that her partner should be like that also. This way, it will be much easier for her to keep a man at arm’s length getting on her nerves.
5. Never tolerate the wrong man: The moment you discover you are in a situationship with a man. Leave him. That is the only language a bad man understands. Nagging is never going to change any man. Convert that energy to do something more rewarding than complaining to a man always. At times a lady is aware that a man is not suitable for her, and yet she still stays with him.
Never accept his lies or overlook his wrong sides. You can only stop attracting the wrong men if you keep rejecting them as partners. At times your actions could change a good man into a monster. In other words, if he crosses his boundary with you, let him know about it. If not, he will do something worse next time.
6. Stop being desperate: Most ladies are willing to do anything just to have a man. Take your time to get to know him. It will only reveal his true intentions towards you. Some men are like chameleons. Be cautious of any guy that is always fast and furious. He may even tell you:
”I like being spontaneous”.
Be smart enough to let him wait to do things with you or get certain benefits from you.
Let your observation guide you. Open your eyes to see all the red flags to save you from an impending heartbreak. Try to know him much better before concluding he is ‘the one’ for you.
7. Have standards: the kind of standard you set for yourself determines the man you have around you. A lady without standards is usually the one entertaining the wrong man. Your standards should dictate your choice of man. Set standards like:
- The man should be responsible
- Someone intellectual
- Should have a good source of income.
- Should be loyal and committed.
- He should be mature.
- He should be dedicated.
- A good character.
- Someone that is compatible.
A man who truly has a good character will give you the tender loving care you deserve. Notwithstanding, a man without morals would be your worst nightmare. At the end of the day, your lack of standard will put you at the losing end. Therefore, it is vital to have standards before being with a man.
8. Look for men in the right places: It would be helpful for you to change your location of finding a good man. Break out of your normal routine to discover a good man waiting to be yours. For instance, you might have been meeting these kinds of horrible men at a bar. Chances to stop attracting the wrong men are very low there.
Therefore, you should try to meet him at a grocery store, the gym, or a library. However, some men are wolves in sheep clothing, too, at very decent places. Use your brain and guts before letting a man into your life.
9. Send the right signals: The way you vibe matters to stop attracting the wrong men. Ask yourself these questions. How do I dress? Is it Provocative? No good man wants an indecent woman. These kinds of dressings will only attract rotten men to you.
They will only use you as flings and fling you back to wherever they met you initially. Also, being too easy to get. If you were that easy for him to get. He will begin to second guess that any other man could easily have you. So the mistreatment starts.
10. Date for the right reasons: The best reason for dating should be long term or marriage. If you are not serious about getting married soon, quit dating. Since no quality man who is genuinely ready to commit would like to be with an unserious lady. Let us flip to the other side of the coin.
An unserious man is never prepared to have a long-lasting relationship. Consequently, commitment-phobic men are looking for ladies like them too. Like attracts like. Hence, only if you are genuinely ready to commit that you will stop attracting the wrong men.
11. Rid yourself of baggage: Maybe you are not yet ready for another relationship. But somehow, you get yourself entangled in one, and you are now more miserable. This could be that you have some unresolved experiences in your past relationship affecting you now. If you want to stop attracting wrong men into your life. Learn from past mistakes in your previous relationships and avoid making them again in the future.
12. Be emotionally available: Do not stay aloof when you finally meet ‘the one.’ Ensure you make time to accommodate his desires and needs. Pick his phone calls, reply to his text messages as soon as possible. Doing the opposite could return you to being single again and meeting the wrong man also. As men want your needs and feelings to be on par with theirs.
Moreover, they want security in a relationship with their favorite girl. Bear in mind that good men are scarce.
On a final note,
Now that I have explained how you can stop attracting the wrong men, you are only one step away from finding your ‘Mr. Right.’
Ladies, you can now have some breath of fresh air. Remember that good men have not gone into extinction.
Rachael Ukpebor is an Editorial Assistant for Whatsdalatest. She graduated with honours from the University of Benin with a degree in Sociology and Anthropology. She covers beauty, relationship and lifestyle topics at WDS, everything from best skincare and makeup hacks, to relationships. Her favourite music is Lovin’ You by Minnie Riperton.