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How to Enjoy Sex as a Woman

by | Sensual Intimacy

May 18, 2023

Women no longer have to pretend they don’t have expectations surrounding sex. For a fact, you are supposed to enjoy sex. If you aren’t, it means something is wrong. We will be helping you fix that in the next couple of paragraphs. Read through this guide about how to enjoy sex as a woman.

1. Have Sex with People You are Attracted to

There are no two ways about this. You want to enjoy sex? Have sex with people you are attracted to

It is not enough that you are slightly attracted to them. You have to be deeply attracted. 

Attraction does not have to be negotiated. If it is there, it is. If it’s not, it is not. 

If you ever find yourself contemplating whether or not you should have sex with a guy, it is likely you are not so attracted to him. 

If you go ahead to have sex with him, the sex may be good, but you wouldn’t enjoy it. 

Read: 10 Best Places to Have Sex

2. Let Go of Your Unrealistic Expectations of Sex

Most of the people who have reached out to me about never having sex they enjoy have been people who had a number of unrealistic expectations about sex. 

More than half of them agreed they believed sex should feel like or look like what is seen in porn. 

This is not true. Sex is what you make of it. Only you decide what is great sex and what is not. 

When you shred your unrealistic expectations, you will begin to love sex more. As a woman, you will begin to enjoy it so much, maybe even more than your male counterparts. 

Hilda told us: “I had a lot of unrealistic expectations about sex. I got most of these from porn. When I found ways to let go of them, I started to love and enjoy sex more.”

3. Let go of Your Fears

I believe every one of us has some form of phobia when we have sex with a new partner for the first time. 

In people who have a good mental image of sex, this phobia fades away when they have sex with that partner a second time. And by the third time, it is non-existent. 

However, some women still experience a lingering fear of sex. Sometimes, it is associated with a distorted self-image. 

Other times, it is associated with the sex itself. 

Whatever it is for you, you need to find ways to let all your fears go to enjoy sex as a woman. 

4. Never Allow Yourself to Rush into Sex

By “rush,” I mean never allow yourself to go on to have sex when there is mental or emotional resistance. 

Give yourself time to be comfortable. Anxiety can make you tense the muscles around your pelvis, which can make sex uncomfortable. 

Anxiety can also make your mind wander. 

To enjoy sex as a woman, you have to be there, present. So you need cooperation with your mind as much as possible. 

Read: 10 Sexiest Fun Games to Play in Bed and Out

5. Be in that Moment

Yes, participate. You are not a spectator. You are a participant. So, be in the moment. Bring your mind into the bedroom. 

Take in the beautiful lights. Breathe in the scent of beautiful flowers or scented candles. (I am guessing you have these around.)

Take beautiful looks at your partner from time to time. Imagine the wildest things and plan to try them out. 

When you are in the moment during sex, it is difficult to slip into fear. It is easier to enjoy yourself. 

If you have problems getting in the mood, you may have to read books or see some movies that open you up. 

6. Pay Attention to Foreplay

It is necessary that women pay attention to foreplay. Foreplay can help remove mental blocks. It can also help remove physical blocks. 

Whilst I have so far been focusing on mental blocks that make women enjoy sex less, physical blocks also contribute a lot to how employable sex turns out. 

Pain is a sensation that almost completely negates pleasure. So, if you are to enjoy sex, you have to remove sensations of pain. 

Most times, pain in bed comes from friction between the penis shaft and the walls of the vagina. This can be fixed by making sure you get really wet. Foreplay does the job just fine. 

If you are still not wet enough after foreplay, it may be time to consider lube. Here are some lube options for you

7. Tighten Your Pelvis Periodically

The muscles of your pelvis are very helpful when it comes to sex. 

Have you noticed that you feel some spasming down there whenever you are nearing or experiencing an orgasm?

You can create this orgasmic feeling by tightening your pelvis and relaxing it from time to time. 

Your man is also going to love this. When you tighten, your walls grip his penis more, and he is sure to feel that rush of pleasure up his head. 

Read: 10 Ways to Be The Sexy Wife of Your Husband’s Dream

8. Let Him Have His Way

Sometimes, women just want to be made love to. I understand that. A lot of men don’t, but if you are lucky enough to have a man who does, then you should let go and allow him his way. 

You will see it in his eyes when he wants to take charge of this session of lovemaking. Smile at him. Tell him your body is his, and he can do with it what he wants. 

9. Explore his Kinks

Sex is more enjoyable when it is teamwork. So, by all means, please explore his kinks. 

Ask him what he has always wanted done to him, and do it.  

Take pleasure in pleasuring him. 

You enjoy sex more when you enjoy giving your partner pleasure. 

10. Don’t Rush

To really enjoy sex as a woman, do not rush. Yes. Take your time. Do take your time. 

Read: How To Build Up Tension Before Sex


Women may even enjoy sex more than men when they put their minds to having great sex. Luckily, great sex is easy. 

Read: How to Please a Man in Bed

By Martin Corden

Martin Corden is a certified relationship expert and a songwriter from Australia. He loves researching and writing. Martin loves finding new ways to improve and inspires others to be their best version and work together towards it. Martin has a wide range of intellectual and artistic interests.

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