Unquestionably, parenting is not an easy job. But withholding discipline when it is justified makes the task even more difficult. The simple reason is that discipline helps put your child in check. Without it, kids become unruly, which will give parents a hard time.
Also, when children receive inconsistent directions from their parents, they get confused. This will make the task even more difficult.
When discipline is balanced and given out of love, it will help keep the child secure, shape the moral character, and guide his thinking as he grows to responsible adulthood.
So how can parents effectively dish out discipline the right way? This article considers ways parents can discipline their children in a loving and balanced way.
1. Discipline your child in a loving way
Parents should never be abusive to their children when giving discipline. Also, they shouldn’t allow excessive freedom of behavior. Kids who are fully not-restrictive have little sense that their parents are the ones who are in charge.
So they assume the adult authority since the parents’ don’t assume theirs. Consequently, if things continue in this way, they will make unwise choices, and the results will be devastating.
Punishment prompted by anger is not disciplining at all. It is merely a loss of self-control. On the other hand, you are likely to get better results when you discipline with love and self-control. Give parental discipline lovingly and must be done carefully.
2. Be consistent when giving discipline
Children need the security of consistent discipline. If your standards of discipline change depending on your mood, your child may become disoriented and frustrated.
Consider carefully and thoroughly before giving ultimatums you have no intention of seeing to the end. If you warn your child that a specific form of discipline will result in misbehaving, be sure to carry it out.
Furthermore, it will be best when both parents come to an agreement when deciding which discipline is best for which situation.
If they disagree about how best to handle a problem, it’s better to do it in private and not in front of their kids. That way, their kids will not see inconsistency in them. Parents should reach a united decision before enforcement.
Also, they should make sure they follow through with their arrangement when the time arises.
3. Be reasonable when giving discipline to your child
Take all circumstances into account when giving discipline. Try to see why your child is acting this way. Below are some questions to help you analyze the situation.
- Could this be a one-time incident or an ongoing negative habit?
- Is the child stressed or not feeling well?
- Could this conduct be a symptom of another problem?
It is essential that you be realistic in your expectations and, at the same time, not condone wrong conduct. Taking your child’s abilities, limitations, and other circumstances into account before you discipline them will help you ensure that your discipline is reasonable and balanced.
4. Give Rewards for Good Conduct
Rewards help kids focus on what they need to do to earn certain privileges, rather than highlight the bad conduct they’re supposed to shun. Sometimes, it is better to reward a child when they do what is expected of them; instead of spanking a child for misconduct.
For example, if your child breaks simple house regulations often, it would be best to set up a reward system to motivate them to do what’s right.
5. Give Praise for Good Conduct
Always give praise when your child is doing something right. For example, when they clean their rooms or help in taking the dishes away. Tell them how you feel about them doing these simple tasks. Praise their effort.
Doing this will encourage them to want to do more. Children like to be praised or recognized for their efforts, especially when it comes from their parents. They feel appreciated and satisfied that they have done something well.
When your child’s effort goes unnoticed, the motivation to keep doing what is right wouldn’t be there. Thus, he will assume it’s not worth the effort doing such tasks at home. However, it is essential to note that too much praise can be harmful.
Some parents give out undeserved praise in an attempt to boost their children’s self-esteem. Children are smart enough to see through the hype and conclude that you do not really mean what you say.
When they feel they don’t deserve the praise, they may end up not trusting you. So it would be best to dole out praise to your child based on their effort. Children who are praised for their hard work come to realize that acquiring skills requires patience and effort.
According to the book Letting Go With Love and Confidence. it says, “they put in the work needed to achieve the desired result, even when they come up short, they don’t view themselves as failures, but as learners.”
6. Give constructive criticism
Give your child constructive criticism by starting the conversation on a positive note. The beginning of the conversation is always the most challenging part, so keep it as positive and cheerful as possible.
When given the right way, negative feedback will help a child improve, not crush his spirit. Also, if you continually give fitting praise, your child will likely welcome feedback on how he can further improve. Then his accomplishments will become a source of satisfaction for both of you.
7. Help your child deal with failure
No one is above mistake. Even good people make mistakes from time to time. What is important is that, after each stumble, they get up, learn from the experience, and move on.
You can help your child to adopt this positive approach by focusing on effort. You foster resilience when you focus on your child’s effort.
Help your child to see setbacks as not the end of it but as something to learn. That will help him to simply work harder.
Parental discipline requires far more than an act of punishment administered swiftly and decisively. Most children need a repeated warning before they correct their thinking.
Parents must spend time, exercise patience, and give much thought to administering discipline. Doing so will help parents to discipline their children in a loving and balanced way.