How do you converse with a girl you like when you’ve got little or no knowledge of her status. Firstly, you have to get over your fear of anxiety. Secondly, don’t be afraid of a negative response; it’s normal. Not everyone may say yes, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Even the best toasters get rejected often. I have come up with 13 simple steps to keep in mind whenever you want to converse with a girl. Applying these tips will make things go smoother.
1. Be Respectful: Depending on the country you currently reside in, you should be careful when approaching people in public. Never anticipate that others will be pleasant to you because you were pleasant to them. They might be going through a bad time.
Also, try not to invade their space. Learn about proximities. Watch your words. Each time you converse with a girl or other people you don’t know, use generally accepted words. Try not to go tossing curse words into your sentences. You may scare them off. Always be respectful. Know the motivation behind why you need to start up a discussion and be upfront about it.
2. Smile: Notwithstanding who you are conversing with, smiling can make you seem more amiable and increasingly likable. Work on smiling and make eye contact with the person without flinching when you introduce yourself. It might be difficult from the start; however, doing so will make you appear confident and friendly, which are the two things girls mostly find appealing.
Smiling can likewise serve to make you feel better about the situation that you’re in. Studies have proven that smiling adjusts the synthetic compounds in your brain to make you feel more joyful and self-assured.
3. Practice At Home: The initial phase in your arrangement to conquer your shyness is to rehearse engagements at home. Get comfy with making statements for all to hear, like introducing yourself or giving a pleasant greeting to your neighbors.
Practice can make a greeting or an introduction simpler. Practice in front of a mirror or record yourself so you can see what you look like when you talk to someone and make adjustments to present a confident disposition.
4. Mind The Location: If you are considering approaching a girl when she is standing outside the women’s washroom, please DON’T! Additionally, abstain from stopping a girl on an empty street or a dark road just to converse with her. Be mindful of where you are approaching a girl.
5. Don’t Be Selfish: Try not to approach her when she’s occupied or diverted. Various reasons can make her decline discussing with you. If you interrupt her while she’s doing something significant or if she doesn’t want to be bothered at that moment, she presumably won’t respond well to you introducing yourself.
If a girl you want to converse with is discussing with others, looks focused on what she is doing, or has earphones in her ears; she might not have any desire to be bothered. You should probably think of starting a conversation with her some other time.
6. Make Eye Contact: Approach her only when you’ve made eye contact with her. If you stare at her for too long before approaching her, you might make her feel uncomfortable.
Glance at her from time to time just to send a message to her that you’re attempting to get her attention. Be discreet and consistently look away right when her eyes make contact with yours. You’ll rouse her interest, and that will make her keep checking you out, and she’ll begin to wonder if you are still paying attention to her on the sly.
Looking at someone for a long time without approaching will make you seem creepy instead of friendly.
Approach her and say ‘hello there’, then introduce yourself the way you’ve been practicing.
7. Converse With A Purpose: Don’t just introduce yourself and permit the discussion to die out. Mention something friendly that will make her want to proceed with the discussion.
You should be direct in your discussion. Start by saying something like, “I saw you from across the room and knew that if I didn’t introduce myself, I’d be angry with myself throughout the day.”
You could also ask her a social favor like, “Hello, I’m new here and don’t generally know anybody. Do you mind if I chat with you for a moment?”
8. Be Creative: The words that you use should be straightforward, intriguing, and unexpected. How boring is this discussion?
– How are you?
= Good, and you?
– Good good.
Instead, paint pictures with your words and trigger the mind by using interesting words. This gives room for better discussion.
– Hi there!
= Hello to you as well!
– How are you doing on this mildly humid day?
= Good! You?
The subsequent discussion has a better flow, and even though you wouldn’t generally talk this way, it’s a decent way to kick start a conversation with an otherwise boring subject (the climate). If you can paint pictures with your words, people will have a pleasant time talking to you.
9. Embrace Your Shyness: Regardless of how much you practice, you may still get anxious when you want to converse with a girl. If you are apprehensive, don’t think she won’t notice because she mostly will. Instead, be forthcoming about your anxiety by putting it into it the discussion.
Say something like, “I can get a bit nervous when I meet a new person!”
You can even pitch it into your conversation when you want to compliment her. Say something like, “I can’t resist the urge to be nervous when I converse with such a pretty girl.”
10. Pose Inquiries: Pose inquiries or make observations to keep the discussion from frizzing out. If you perceive that the conversation is burning out, it doesn’t really mean she isn’t interested, so use questions pertaining to her and your perceptions of things going on around you to fill the holes.
Ask her to expound on something she mentioned earlier. If she mentioned that she recently moved to that region, for instance, ask her something about where she used to live before by saying something along the line: “did your last town have a fun nightlife?” Her reaction will help you comprehend what kinds of things she enjoys doing.
Point to something fascinating that is going on around you and maintain a strategic distance from “yes” and “no” questions.
An inquiry like, “Did you like the new movie that came out this weekend?” will get you either a “yes” or a “no” answer. Instead, ask her what different movies she’s seen and why she prefers them. This kind of question will make conversations smoother.
10. Act Natural: You might want to lie or act fake to appear to be cooler or better in front of somebody you want to impress but remember that you may be forced to keep lying if you ever find yourself in a relationship with her. Do you really want to go through all that?
If she doesn’t appear interested, that might be difficult to accept; but it won’t be because you were pretending to be what you are not.
11. Keep In Touch: If she seems interested in knowing you better after the casual conversation you shared, it will probably progress well. Take advantage of the situation by asking if it would be okay to call her or add her on social media.
Requesting her phone number might send a flirtatious message, so it might be easier to ask if you can add her on social media.
If you are not sure how interested she is in getting more acquainted, say something like, “Can I call you at some point?”
But if she prefers an online platform, ask her if she’s on Facebook, then request if you can add her as a friend. She won’t say no.
12. Be Passionate When You Speak: There are lots of different ways to converse with a lady. For instance, you could inquire about whether she made her earrings/dress/other cool things herself. You could even say something like, “Your dress matches your eyes. It’s an incredible shade.” Don’t be shy about saying some quirky as well, but abstain from teasing or ridiculing her the first time you talk to her. Express passion when you converse with a lady. Girls like guys that are passionate.
13. Re-Think Your Idea Of Rejection: Shyness frequently originates from a dread of being rejected. It’s totally normal to think about rejections personally, however, don’t. Rather than considering rejection as a disappointment, recognize the truth about it: a learning experience.
In some cases, being rejected has less to do with you than it does with the other party. People have bad days, experience bad moods, or battle with their insecurities.
Rejection won’t kill you. In fact, with the right frame of mind, it may not do any harm. Rather than considering rejection to be a disappointment, consider it to be an opportunity to gain experiences and a way to be able to have a better understanding of how to communicate with others.
Obisesan Oluwatosin Grace is a freelance writer. She has worked as a reporter for a magazine firm called Ijebu Flavors and a content creator with Jetheight Services. She has contributed articles to Howng, Howafrica, Howsouthafrica, Nigeriana, and many more.
Obisesan is obsessed with creativity, and she likes to spend her free time learning how to improve her skills. She enjoys watching Sci-Fi and action movies, reading numerous fictional works, writing poetry, and listening to continental music. She is currently taking a creative writing course at Wesleyan University, USA.