You know you are with a player or talking to one through his body language, such as how he talks, looks, and his use of excessive flattery. Also, you should observe if he is in a hurry or being secretive. Understand these vital signs, put them into consideration and analyze them carefully, then you can be sure if he is a player or not. Let’s take the aspect one at a time.
But before we delve into how you can spot a player in detail, I want you to keep in mind that these signs are just possible indicators of a player — not absolute proof (100%) that a guy is one. Also, bear in mind that some players can easily get away without manifesting any of these telltale signs.
A player sees himself as an artist who is skilled at tricking women into doing what he wants. When he succeeds, he counts it as a trophy. Their number one goal is to win —get what he wants—and there’s always a time when they like to reflect on the different number of women they have successfully tricked.
When with their friends, players count the number of women they have intimate encounters with, discuss how beautiful these women are, how hard it takes them to get what they want, their shapes, sizes, where they come from, and many other attributes. For them, it is a game.
For example, a player may boost that he has successfully slept with a British, an American, Canadian, and a Chinese woman, and his next target is a Russian woman. Yeah, you heard me right. That’s how they think and why they do the things they do—to add an imaginary trophy to their imaginary cabinet.
What Is a Player in a Relationship?
A player in a relationship is a manipulative person who goes into a relationship with an ulterior motive without the intention of committing and has many casual sexual relationships at the same time. If someone is only interested in having sex— his ulterior motive—with you and not in a long-term relationship, then he is probably one.
Why Players Can Easily Get Away.
Many people think only rich, handsome and attractive guys can be players. Well, many players always appear handsome, cute, innocent, and sometimes even caring. Mind you, a guy is very handsome doesn’t mean he is one.
A player can be everything—handsome, rich, poor, attractive, ugly, tall, and short. They take different forms. Although it’s easy for a handsome guy to trick a lady and get what he wants, that doesn’t mean all unattractive guys are genuine.
A reason why they easily get away is that they have been practicing and playing women for far too long than they can remember. It’s most likely like a hobby for many already. They know how to put 2 and 2 together within seconds and quickly develop the perfect magic words to remove any doubts you might have about them. So, how do you know if your newfound love is a player? let’s take a look at these warning signs.
1. How He Talks.
An unreal guy tends to change his head position rather too quickly, especially when you ask him something. He changes or tilts his head position before providing any answer to your question.
When you’re observant, you’ll notice that a player’s style changes when he’s challenged. Normally, he will express in more words than are needed when he leads the conversation but will be uncomfortable and may clam up if he feels like he’s losing control, especially when you ask him sensitive information.
For example, ask a player about a certain girl or tell him part of your suspicion; he will be tread carefully with the next words that come out of his mouth because he doesn’t know how much you already know. He will expect you to lay out all your cards on the table before he proceeds. When he proceeds, he will become evasive or erratic in his responses and with the hopes of not confirming your suspicion.
2. How He Looks at You.
Players tend to avoid a direct gaze when you look directly into their eyes. You’re going to find many topics about the correlation between truthfulness and eye contact on the internet. If he isn’t comfortable making direct eye contact when you make important inquiries from him, he is most likely a player.
3. How He Flatters or Compliments You.
One thing is prevalent among potential players — the use of flattering words. They tend to overuse compliments because women like compliments — words such as, you’re so beautiful, adorable, or I can’t do without you, etc. Players take advantage of this and use it to capitalize on non-suspecting women.
When a guy is being genuine and pointing out features he truly likes about you, that is okay. A player, however, uses the same compliment for every girl he meets. He prefers to say hot, sexy, nice curves, nice shape, great body, and intoxicating instead of beautiful, amazing, adorable, clever, and intelligent.
The way he compliments you also shows you that’s what he’s obviously focusing on your body. If all a guy thinks of whenever you’re together is about your body, you know he is a player.
4. How Impatient is He.
A guy who is genuinely interested in building a long-lasting relationship with you will be patient with you. A player doesn’t have that time. All he is only interested in is — sex. He won’t be interested in your other affairs, such as your family, health, or your plans for the future.
He is only interested in having fun. A guy who truly cares about you will put in the energy and effort to know everything about you, even minor details.
5. How secretive is He.
A player doesn’t want others to know that you guys are dating. There may be valid reasons to want to maintain a measure of privacy in a relationship. Still, when he deliberately keeps the relationship secret, he is most likely a player.
Try asking him about his family and friends and that you would like to meet them someday. He will find ways to divert the topic to something else or always postpone the meeting.
What to Do When You Spot a Player.
While the signs listed here will help you spot a player, try not to use a single one of them as a determining factor for drawing a conclusion. If a guy exhibits 2 or 3 of these techniques, be on the watch out or use a microscope—haha. Also, whenever you’re in doubt, listen to your gut and let your instincts guide you.
If that little voice in your head begins to question their attitude or behavior, don’t ignore it. Ask follow-on questions. If they become defensive, know something is definitely up.
It will be best to take your time to get to know someone you would like to get involved with for a long time or even marry in the future. Don’t be afraid to sever all contact with a guy if he is overly confident and pushy at the beginning of a relationship.
Allison E. is the Editor in Chief at Whatsdalatest. He enhances brand awareness and the communication process. He enjoys writing useful content for people from all walks of life.