How Do I Tell Her About My Feelings?

Have you got a crush on someone lately, and you’re wondering how you can tell her about your feelings? If you have indeed come to know her and really like her, you do not need to fear a nasty reaction or humiliation.

Why Does it Matter?

— You’ll feel proud of yourself

— It might be the start of something amazing. 

What Would You Do?

Imagine this scenario: Oliver has known Valarie for two months now. They both met at a small house party a mutual friend hosted. Since then, they have hung out together and shared drinks. They visited a small museum and a cinema. 

Oliver thinks about Valarie a lot these days. He thinks about how wide she smiled when she told him he was cool, smiling and poking his shoulder. He tries to fight it, but deep down, he knows he likes Valarie very much. 

Oliver knows he wants to be more than ‘just’ friends with Valarie. He knows he wants her to be his girlfriend. But he is confused—confused and afraid. 

He does not know how to tell her about his feelings. 

If you were Sandy, what would you do?

What Do You Want?

Okay, why do you want to tell her about your feelings? Do you just want to tell her what you feel and then leave, or do you want something more? 

Realize what you want, and accept it. 

Let Go of Your Fear of Rejection

Fear can keep us from doing a lot of things and if you are afraid to take a jump, you most likely will not take that jump. 

If you are afraid to tell her about your feelings, then you most likely will convince yourself not to. 

If you must tell her your feelings, you must let go of the fear of being rejected. 

Realize that we don’t always get what we want. Think about how life would have been if everyone had told us yes. 

Sometimes, we just would have to be told no. This is fine. Accept it. 

Keep your mind open, and convince yourself that you will be able to handle whatever may be the outcome. 

Understand that a rejection does not mean that you are worthless. You’re an amazing person. Realize this. 

Non-Verbal Clues

Sometimes, we can communicate without words. If you still fear that you would be rejected if you come out plain and tell her about your feelings, then don’t come out plain just yet. 

Give her hints and non-verbal cues and observe how she reacts to them. 

For example, you can hold her arm or put your hand on her lower thighs. Observe how she acts. If she acts in a way that signals irritation, then she may not like you as much as you like her. 

However, if she’s welcoming and maybe even smiles at your advances, then she most probably likes you. 

The Pseudo Expression

This is where you jokingly tell her you like her. Try not to be very direct. Use humor. 

Jokingly tell her you would like to be with her and then change the topic. Observe how she reacts to it. 

Just Tell Her. What’s The Worst That Could Happen, Anyway?

Just tell her how you feel. Tell her in your words, not some scripted words. Be plain and sincere, and accept whatever comes. 

Action Plan

How can I let go of my fear of rejection? How can I be more in tune with my feelings?

Photo by Jose Chomali on Unsplash