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How Do I Get Her to Date Me?

by | Love and Romance

Published on May 15, 2022

While there is no golden formula to making a girl date you, there are some courses of action you can take to make her respond positively to you when you ask her to date you. This also includes some qualities and behaviors, when displayed, can help her get all the feels.

Why Does It Matter?

You like her very much and you’re looking to make her your long-term companion or spouse.

What Would You Do?

Imagine this scenario: A new nurse has been employed at the hospital Henry works in as a Pediatrician. The first time he sees her, she is dressed in a scrub. She smiles at Henry, and he feels something move inside him. 

The following day, he walks over to her and tells her he likes her smile. She laughs. 

They set up a date for the weekend. Nurse Emma shows up in a beautiful red gown. Henry compliments her. She blushes. They talk for a while and then say goodbye. 

They hang out a number of times after that. At least three times. Henry does not tell Emma that he likes her. He thinks it’s best for him to wait. 

One night, Henry’s phone buzzes. It’s a message from Emma. It reads: ‘you’re a good friend. An amazing one, at that. I needed more friends, and now you’re here.’

Henry tries to smile but can’t. Friend? He thinks. Is she pushing him into the friendzone?

If you were Henry, what would you do?

Be Honest With Yourself

Why do you want her to date you? 

Think about this for a moment, and try to tell yourself the truth. 

People want to enter into relationships for different reasons. Some people enter into relationships for monetary benefits, others for sexual satisfaction and love. 

What is in it for you?

Accept Yourself

Not many people want to be with someone who does not accept himself. 

Realize that you’re amazing, and this does not change. 

Speak kind words to yourself and to others, and develop healthy habits. 

Understand That You Can#t Change a Person’s Mind

We don’t have much power over a person’s feelings. We can’t coerce them into loving us or seeing us in a romantic way if they have decided not to. 

If we try too hard to change a person, we may become abusive. Abusive behavior is not acceptable. It hurts people, and it hurts us too. 

Accept that if she doesn’t want to date you, you can’t change her mind. You shouldn’t even try to. 

Be Yourself

We should not change ourselves in a bid to attract a person’s love. We are all unique and have unique personalities. Your personality is what makes you special. Embrace it. 

A person who loves you would love you because of who you are. 

Don’t change in a bid to be loved. 

Spend Some Time More With Her

Go out more with her. When people spend a lot of time together, they grow fond of each other, and a romantic attachment may be formed. 

Show her interesting parts of you. Tell her a story. Give her body cues. Hold her. Listen to the things she has to say. 


Be there. Become the person she turns to.

Ask Her

I am almost sure your crush is not a mind reader. She will not know your intentions if you don’t tell her. So, tell her you would love to date her. 

Course of Action

When is the right time to ask her out for a date? What kind of place should I choose for the first date? 

Photo by Duri from Mocup on Unsplash

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By Aleksandra Nico

Dr. Aleksandra Nico is a licensed clinical psychologist. She is in private practice in Brunswick and has experience in a wide variety of areas, including mood-related difficulties, anxiety, psychosis, trauma, addictions, personality disorders, and anger management. Dr. Nico completed a Ph.D. at the University of Nevada. Her goal is not to make very good people out of good, but to get the unique out of them.

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