Below are the reasons you don’t get a second date. If these apply to you, it might be a call to change the things you’ve been doing wrong.
We know that going on a first date can feel like navigating a precarious situation. You need to dazzle her without coming on too strong or desperate. Similarly, you need to appear to be shrewd yet not condescending, clever but not unapproachable.
You would prefer not to discuss inconsequential issues and yet realize you can’t dig into anything excessively serious.
In this article, you’ll learn that going on dates isn’t simple and while you’re in your head attempting to make sense of what to say (and thinking about whether your new haircut looks okay), realize that you need to effectively tune in to your date to react fittingly. Ladies adore attention and once she sees that you are not interested in what she’s saying, at that point, she will decide that you don’t get a second date.
Most folks are not very social and this is the reason they get anxious on a first date and wind up blowing it.
Above all, while a portion of these mistakes listed on our rundown of reasons you don’t get a second date may appear to be insignificant, keep it at the back of your mind that you are with somebody who has an alternate point of view and conduct.
Why Can’t You Get A Second Date?
1. Watch The Compliments
On the off chance that you start with some remark on how extraordinary her legs look in that skirt, she won’t be into it. She will be immediately put off. You must give remarks on appearance with artfulness or you’ll begin the night (or end it) on an inappropriate note.
Guidance, Stick to polite compliments. You’re covered with comments like “You look pleasant today” or “I can’t get enough of your giggle.” yes, everyone likes to realize they are valued, yet you must be mindful enough to offer the correct statements.
You may think that touching her a lot on your first date shows that you’re into her. Wrong! What you’re really indicating to her is that you’re super-unstable on each of your first dates.
On a first date, contact ought to be limited and just regular, amicable, and warm-not sexual.
At the end of the day, it’s fine to grasp her hand to get her out of your vehicle or put your hand on her lower back to lead her through a jam-packed café or crowded place. But don’t wrap your arm around her neck and hold her too close the entire time
3. Are you a Gentleman?
Thirdly, ladies, today do not require over-the-top gallantry, however, that doesn’t mean you should slack on your habits. For instance, letting the door close forcefully on her face, speaking condescendingly to servers, chewing and talking loudly are all behaviors that she won’t find attractive.
Therefore, avoid excessive show-off.
4. How about Conversation?
Of course, you need to inform her regarding yourself, yet overwhelming the discussion by meandering aimlessly about your life will make you look narcissistic.
What will intrigue her more than finding out about your achievements is seeing that you’re truly keen on hearing about her. In case you don’t know where to begin, her work is typically a decent start.
Get some information about what caused her to go into her profession, and what she plans or needs to achieve. Discover why this is essential to her.
5. Dropping The Foul Words
Some women may be into bad boys, but swearing like a sailor just doesn’t seem right on the first day. It makes it look like you’re trying to be cool.
Advice, start working on your cursing habit now, in anticipation of all your future first dates (and job interviews, and other non-sailing situations).
6. Offensive Jokes
Joking around with your date is an incredible method to break the ice. Ladies like entertaining folks. Everybody likes interesting folks. Goofiness is a phenomenal instrument. Be that as it may, don’t go over the top. On the off chance that you begin getting substantial into governmental issues, non-PC humor, or negging, after that, she will request the check and run quicker than a cheetah.
Besides, keep your clowning to a minimum. Discover something you both agree on, joke about that together.
Don’t get out of control and start ranting and raving about how much you love Angelina Jolie on your first date. Funny can quickly spiral into weird territory.
7. Phone Pressing
Although we depend on our smartphones to meet people, there’s nothing more awful than habitually using your phone on your first date.
Two significant irritations for singles on a date are being with somebody who takes pictures of their food or drink during dinner and individuals who can’t quit checking their phone for messages, Twitter, or Facebook.
The phone may have helped you get the date, however, it has no place on that first date.
8. Excess Drinking
Even though having two or three alcoholic beverages on a first date is an incredible method to unwind. However, consequent drinks will cause you to go from a fun drunk version of you to the chaotic mess crying-over-your-ex version in only 25 minutes.
Know that 11 percent of men and six percent of ladies think over the top drinking is reason enough not to go on a second date.
Leave the crazy tanked mess conduct until you’ve been together for some time, you know when they now love you for every bit of your eccentricities.
9. Splitting the Bill
Splitting or not splitting the bill is one of the vital reasons you don’t get a second date. Try not to demand otherwise when she insists on paying part of the bill with you.
We live in a society where we can have general gender equality. We’re all bringing in cash, it’s OK for the other person to pay half of the bill.
If she wants to pay, think about letting her. And if you’d prefer to get the check, be gracious about it.
Tell treat you’d truly prefer to treat her. Clarify that you’re ready to go Dutch on your next date, but since she consented to go through the date with you, you’d prefer to get this one. In the event that she is extremely persistent, don’t be peculiar about it. Simply split the bill. It is anything but a test. Sometimes, it’s a need to be equal and to set up limits.
And a vital key to remember. Just because you bought dinner does not mean a person owes you anything-not a hug, a kiss, or sex.
10. Resist Bringing Your Resumé
Remember, self-importance is your instability rearing its head. You may feel you have to underline every piece of your experience that shouts “fulfilled” to impress her. But flaunting your wealth and belongings or dropping remarks like “one time at Princeton” into the discussion too often just makes you resemble an idiot.
However, when in doubt, first-date discussions should exclude talking about anything excessively shallow except if there’s a valid justification for it to come up. For instance, it’s fine to disclose to her you went to Harvard Law just in case you’re both on this line of discussion.
In conclusion, the 10 reasons you don’t get a second date written in this article will help you rethink your strategy, see if there’s anything you can do to make the needed adjustment. Work on it and eventually, you will see some improvement on your next dates.
Obisesan Oluwatosin Grace is a freelance writer. She has worked as a reporter for a magazine firm called Ijebu Flavors and a content creator with Jetheight Services. She has contributed articles to Howng, Howafrica, Howsouthafrica, Nigeriana, and many more.
Obisesan is obsessed with creativity, and she likes to spend her free time learning how to improve her skills. She enjoys watching Sci-Fi and action movies, reading numerous fictional works, writing poetry, and listening to continental music. She is currently taking a creative writing course at Wesleyan University, USA.