You might wonder why it’s difficult to get a certain person out of your head and mind and if maybe something might be wrong with you. But the truth is that you are not alone and what you’re going through is normal.
Everyone has or will meet people that will make a lasting impression on them. Having to get a girl you like out of your head and mind can be painful, but getting rid of your memories of her might be your first step to moving on.
When we bond with someone, dopamine is triggered in the brain. This chemical makes you feel good, especially when you achieve a goal you worked hard for. This can make moving on from someone who makes you feel this good hard.
No matter the many reasons why you’ve decided to get rid of her thoughts from your mind, have it in mind that it will not be an easy process. And psychology also shows that the harder you try to forget something, the more you remember it. Shikes! Right?!
You’ve probably tried everything you can before stumbling on this article. But you can move on and get her out of your head and mind with these tips you are about to read.
It won’t happen overnight, and you’ll have to work on being mentally disciplined, but at the end of it all, you will get her completely out of your mind and probably even forget her completely. We will also be here to answer any of your queries concerning this issue.
Tips on how to get her completely out of your head and mind:
If you find it difficult to get her out of your head:
1. Stay busy
Staying busy has been known to keep lots of people out of trouble. When busy, you are less likely to think about her and what could have been. When nothing is occupying your thoughts, you are more likely to get lost in fantasies or start thinking of the hurt you suffered.
The more you keep yourself occupied, the less recurrent your thoughts of her will be.
2. Share your feelings with close friends
Guys have been known to keep a lead on how they are feeling which often leads to suppressed emotions. Suppressed emotions are unhealthy because they only make emotional wounds fester.
If your male friends are only interested in talking sport, you can look for a confidant in a lady friend or family members.
Let yourself mourn the relationship so you can move on. Mourning includes talking about your feelings and re-strategizing.
3. Stop communicating with her
It does not matter if the breakup was amicable or not. When it’s time to move on, it is. Staying stuck on thoughts of her will not help you move on.
Regain your life back by excommunicating your ex till you’ve moved on. That includes unfollowing them on social media and not texting or calling them each time you miss them.
If your mutual friends post photos of them, you can unfollow them just for the main time as well.
And if you find yourself unconsciously visiting their profile, you can use apps that help you restrict the time you can spend on social media in a day.
Maintaining your distance is very important but if you happen to run into them because you run in the same social circle or live in the same area, make your interactions brief and polite.
4. Get rid of relationship keepsakes
Keepsakes and mementos are cute only when the going is good. They can become a nightmare when the relationship is over; that’s why you should get rid of or return these things via mutual friends or mail.
That sweater she bought you? Toss or give back.
5. Appreciate your freedom
A breakup is sometimes a blessing in disguise. See it as a two-sided coin—on one side, there is heartbreak and hurt. But, on the other side is a chance to explore yourself and see what wonders the world of single has in store for you.
On that particular side of the coin is the opportunity to do things better in your next relationship with the lessons you’ve learned in this recent one.
How to get over an unrequited crush
1. Take a shot
Most times, crushes don’t even know how you feel about them. This is even more unfair if she is available for a conversation. I mean, what’s the point of pinning on someone who doesn’t even have an idea of how you feel?
Reach out to that girl by introducing yourself, then say something complementing and easy like ‘I’ve always noticed you, you seem like a sweet person, and I’ll like to be a friend’ people rarely say no to friendship.
Talking to her this way will get her to notice you the right way and will also make your crush smile every time she thinks about your first approach.
2. Socialize more
Having a crush on someone you practically have to interact with can be tough, especially when she’s emotionally unavailable. You cannot cut yourself off from this kind of situation, but you can handle it better by expanding your social circle.
Consider just being friends with girls without any ulterior motive. Have some fun in their company. Hang out, talk music, or some other fun hobby. It’s just good to just talk.
The point is to have a good time and see that you can live without your crush swimming in your thoughts all the time. There’ll be plenty of time to date, even as an adult.
Also, avoid comparing other girls to the girl you are crushing on, or you’ll start thinking even more strongly about her again.
3. Upgrade your priorities
When a guy is young, there’s a high chance he has a crush on the ‘popular girl’ because younger guys are more interested in looking good with the ‘right’ girl beside them.
Growing up, this won’t change much—most guys still pin over the prettier girls in the room because they feel it will elevate their social status or make them the envy of other men.
Well, if the above defines you, and you’re crushing on a girl because she is pretty, popular, or wanted by other guys, you have to wake up because that feeling you feel is not real.
It is better to make genuine connections and meet people with whom you share something in common. After all these, if she still rocks your boat, you may implement no1 above and become friends first.
4. Distract yourself
There are many ways to keep yourself distracted from thinking about a crush; exercise is an excellent way to get your body and mind under control. If you feel yourself getting stuck in your thoughts, it may be time to hit the gym or a basketball court.
Another way is to be focused on tasks like assignments or work. If that is not working, probably because you keep bumping into her in the neighborhood or coffee shops, you can take a break from your crush’s environment for a few hours or days.
You can go camping, hiking or just go out to shows and concerts with your friends. This will give you a much-needed reprieve and you will be able to get her out of your head.
5. Consider or start a new hobby
Developing a new hobby is a great way of keeping her out of your mind. You can get so preoccupied with perfecting this new skill that you might completely get her out of your head and mind.
There are so many types of activities to distract you. Learning to play musical instruments, making art, furniture making (could be anything from learning to build a model ship to fashioning a mini stool – lots of ideas out there, really), stamp collection, etcetera.
6. Consult a therapist or counselor if you’re still struggling
Divulging feelings to a therapist or counselor has been known to make people feel better, especially when you’ve tried everything to get her out of your head and there are no changes.
A professional will help you come up with mental strategies to move on while simultaneously building your self-esteem and confidence.
You can ask your medical doctor for a referral.
All in all, you have to understand that Rome was not built in a day. If you want to get someone out of your head and move, you have to be patient no matter how frustrating it can be. Your feelings can’t be turned on and off overnight. Moving on and getting her out of your mind takes time and effort.
Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash