It can be very tiresome when you’re unable to stop thinking about someone, to have the person stuck in your mind, most especially when you’d rather focus on other important things. After all, if you can’t stop thinking about him, then it can be tough to forget about him. It will also be difficult to keep your head in the game.
Don’t be too surprised if you realize you find it hard to stay focused and engaged in present moments. These are all more reasons for you to seek a solution to that distracting thought. Don’t you worry: You are in the right place.
There are plenty of reasons why you have been unable to forget and stop thinking about him, and some will be outlined below; you can’t find a solution to a problem you don’t even know the cause.
To stop thinking about someone, you have to figure out why you won’t stop thinking about them in the first place.
Why You Won’t Stop Thinking About Someone
1. You are probably in love with him
Firstly, it might be love! This is not always the case, but for most people, when they are in love, they wouldn’t be able to go a minute without thinking about their love interest.
Perhaps, he gets you and makes you feel like his world when he’s with you. You realize that you like him beyond average, and he seems to like you too.
It’s only normal to keep thinking about him and fantasize about what a relationship with him will be like.
It can be even more difficult if your feeling is unrequited. Either way, being in love makes your hormones and brain chemistry go crazy.
Dopamine, a chemical released in the body when you touch or think about this guy, becomes responsible for the head-over-heels, giddy feeling you can’t seem to get over.
2. You are likely infatuated
Not to dispute that you may be in love with him, but you have to be rational too. His reoccurring thoughts in your mind might just be as a result of your infatuation toward him.
You are probably deeply interested in this guy and curious about his life, likes, and dislikes.
You might even be dreaming of him when you sleep. Somewhere in your mind, you know a relationship with him is a pipe dream, but you can’t help but be attracted and interested in him.
3. They give mixed signals
Everybody has been in this confusing state once or twice in their life. He is giving you signals you can’t decipher, and it’s frustrating. Does he like you, or does he not like you
He’s hot and cold; it comes across as though he likes you one minute and the next; you are left guessing if you imagined his affection. Because of this, you can’t help but think about him and how he feels about you.
4. You’re a daydreamer
Poor guy probably hasn’t shared a few words with you, but you’ve already built a future with him. That’s alright. We all need a little fantasy in our life to distract us from the present once in a while.
What is alarming is when you bring your fantasy into your reality, and you can’t think of a life without him in it.
The reason you can’t stop thinking about him might not even be his fault in any way.
You are just probably bored or trying to avoid the harsh reality in your life, and you think if you can get him to be in your life, things would be better with him.
If you can’t seem to function and start trying to include him in your every activity, then it’s a good thing you are reading this!
5. You’re in a relationship with him, and you don’t know where it’s headed
It can be tiring when you can’t seem to fathom where your relationship is headed with someone. This is called relationship anxiety, and it’s normal to have it when you can’t figure your relationship out.
Your genuine concern might be the reason you can’t get his thoughts off your mind. You wonder if he has real feelings for you or just going with the flow.
You know you like him and want the relationship to blossom into something better, but all you can decipher from his action is indifference to where your relationship is at.
It is normal to have relationship anxiety when you want your relationship to grow, but when it starts to interrupt your daily life, you may have to sit this guy down and tell him how you feel.
6. He isn’t attracted to you
Most people obsess over that which they cannot have. You know he is not interested in you or that he already has a serious relationship, he may have even made why he can’t be with you clear, but this just makes you want him more.
You feel challenged, and your big brain is now spitting different ways and things you can do to have his attention.
These thoughts are probably the reason why you can’t stop thinking about him.
7. He broke up with you
Dealing with heartbreak can be difficult, but you have to understand that a relationship ending is not the end of the world.
But you don’t want the relationship to end, and somehow, in your head, you have convinced yourself he will come back when he misses you or that he will come back when he realizes his mistake.
You just don’t understand how he can move on when he said you were his oxygen while you guys are still together.
When the last person you expect hurt from actually hurts you, you may want a rational explanation as to why they did it. When you can’t get any from the other party, you start to come up with different excuses, and most are usually about ways you must have driven him away with something you did.
These thoughts can easily spiral out of control, and this is why you need to figure out how to stop thinking about him and forget about him. It won’t be easy, but it is possible.
Now that you’ve probably figured out why you can’t stop thinking about this guy let’s delve into how to forget and stop thinking about him.
Read: Relationship Help: Answers to Questions People Ask
How to Forget and Stop Thinking About Someone
1. Cut off contact
To stop communication with someone important to you in certain ways can be hard. But, if you need to stop thinking and forget about him, this is a crucial step.
Cease calling and texting, and if possible, avoid seeing him totally for the duration of time it will take to get over your thoughts of him. Hey! That includes his social media profiles. Don’t sneak peeks.
If you cannot avoid seeing him because he’s your colleague, neighbor, or your schoolmate, you can be cordial without going overboard with the pleasantries.
Be polite, but don’t engage in small talks or banter. If he asks to find out why you changed toward him, explain to him that you just need time to figure some personal issues out.
2. Redirect your thoughts
Redirecting your thoughts the instant you find yourself thinking about him is a way of rewiring your brain and giving it new signals.
It will take time to get your mind off him eventually, and instead of beating yourself up about your battle with the distracting thought, just stick to this routine of redirection.
Try out different thoughts, and go with the one that can hold your attention better than his thoughts in your head.
3. Discard stuff that reminds you of him
Hanging on to stuff that reminds you of him is not a good idea. Out of sight is usually out of mind sometimes. Get rid of that stuff or hide them in the farthest corner of your closet. Somewhere you don’t often visit.
A co-author at wikiHow suggests asking a friend to hold on to those things while you get over him. That way, you will not be tempted to reach for those things when his thoughts pop into your mind.
4. Go on a vacation
Get out of town for a few days if you can. Vacations have been known to help people rejuvenate. It might just be the right distraction you need.
Don’t visit places that remind you of him. Visit a new place you probably haven’t gone before or a place with a different type of sentiments for you. See old friends or loved ones you haven’t seen in a while.
An effective way to prevent his thoughts from floating around in your head is if you made new memorable experiences.
5. Learn something new
Learn a new hobby or take up a free career course just for the sake of it. Try crafts, hitchhiking, knitting, or even a yoga class.
Cooking or poetry class is also something that can occupy your attention. You wouldn’t want to burn the house down just because your thoughts wandered now, would you?
6. Try to forgive him
It may be surprising, but you are probably thinking of him because you feel slighted about something that really hurt you. A breakup is a good example.
If you can’t stop thinking about your ex or why they did what they did, it may be time to forgive him and move on with your life.
Yes, it can be difficult to move past the anger and hurt; however, if you forgive him, it might make it easier to stop thinking about him and even forget him in the long run.
7. Sort out the other problems in your life
Another way to get rid of thoughts about someone is to take an introspective look into your life. Figure out what problems you are using his thoughts to avoid. You should check the aspect of your life that you are unhappy with and try to find a working solution.
Stop using him as a distraction because, at the end of the day, the problems are not going anywhere on their own.
No one expects you to turn on or turn off your emotions on a whim, but you are only doing yourself a great disservice if you don’t try to have better control of your thoughts.
Photo by kevin turcios on Unsplash
