Are you always shy? Do you find it challenging to communicate when you’re outside your comfort zone? Leaving you wondering, “how can I become less shy?”
Shyness is something everyone can overcome. Some of us are naturally more shy than others. However, being very shy is something only about 20% of us are born with. Overcoming your shyness and going on to communicate effortlessly is a skill you can practice to perfect.
We all know how that shy person, who is stuffed with talent and goodness but still shy anyway. Who finds it difficult to interact, who turns to act awkward before even the smallest crowds. Sometimes, the shy person is us. We know the words to say but can’t say them out, especially before a group. We don’t want to act clumsy or scattered but do so anyway because we just can’t help it.
This article will teach you how to become less shy, to exude attractive confidence, the kind that has everyone focused on you whenever you talk. You will learn how to sustain the most amazing conversations.
Learn how to become less shy. Consider these 10 ideas to communicating easily.
1. It all Begins in Your Head
When shy people have failed repeatedly to begin and sustain conversations or interact with people, they may fall into a default state of: “I am shy, and there is nothing I can do about it.”
Do not let yourself adapt this as a default mode. You may be shy, but there are definitely a lot of things that you can do about it. To overcome shyness, you have to realize that you are amazing, strong, and confident and have a lot to offer the world.
2. Read Books
Books will change your life. And I mean literally. They will do so by changing your mind, giving you more strength to approach, overcome and win anything, including your shyness.
When choosing books, go for non-fiction self-help books, and read through stories about people’s experiences.
A great book I would like for you to read is How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It guides you through practical steps to follow when you want to make friends and keep friendships through worthwhile conversations that linger on even after you must have left.
3. Your Posture
“Keep your head high.” It is a common phrase and suggests that your posture is a function of your mood. Think about a person walking down the street, his or her head down, his shoulders dropped.
What would you think about this person? Of course, you are going to suspect that he is shy and probably even sad.
Now, also think about someone who has his shoulders raised, his face forward and his chin up. Does this person not strike you as confident and attractive? Oh, he should.
Like a model, you should not slouch. Realize that your posture affects your confidence. Walk with your face held high and your shoulders raised.
Do this for a while and realize how confident you start to be. In no time, you’ll be less shy and be able to communicate easily.
4. Work on What You Don’t Like About Yourself
I tell people this: You don’t have to change for the world. You have to change for yourself. All of us have at least one thing which we do not exactly love about ourselves. These things fall into two or maybe three categories:
- Things about ourselves we cannot change, e.g., our height, the color of our skins, etc.
- Things about ourselves we can change using difficult procedures; our size, the shape of our butt and boobs, etc.
- Things about ourselves we may be able to change without much difficulty.
If you notice that something about you seems to be affecting your confidence directly, then it is time to work on it. It is time to tweak your appearance so that your confidence gets a boost and you, in the end, will become less shy.
If you have got not-so-good-looking teeth, then you should go to the dentist, and he may give you braces that bring out the beauty of your smile.
Think about it deeply before beginning the journey to change things that are quite difficult or could directly pose harm to your health and well-being. And for the things you can’t change, you have only one option and that is accepting you and loving you just the way you are.
To overcome shyness completely and communicate easily, you have to see yourself in a positive light. If your shyness is a result of self-esteem problems, you may notice that there are voices in your head that suggest that you are not good enough. Ignore these voices and live. Be kind to yourself and enjoy your life perfectly.
5. Wear Clothes You Love
Shyness most times comes from feeling inadequate. And your clothing can fix this. Remember, I talked about confidence and how it is the seemingly opposite of shyness.
A cloth you love is going to make you feel like the perfect model. And aren’t you just that? Pretty and amazing and smart and worth everything?
It is also going to pull a lot of compliments your way. On some days, someone may even walk up to you and say: “Hey, I love your dress.”
That’ll give you such a boost.
Do not forget to put a smile on when you are dressed in that dress you love. A smile spells confidence and is greatly going to affect your mood.
At the start of this article, I mentioned that posture could affect your mood. In the same vein, facial expressions affect your mood too. But not just your mood, the moods of other people who are watching too.
Have you ever smiled really hard just from seeing someone else smile? Well, that smile just affected your mood. And you can trick your body into believing that you are truly confident and amazing by just spreading a smile.
6. Leave Your Comfort Zone
Overcoming shyness and learning to communicate more effectively means you will have to leave your comfort zone.
I can already guess that you are an indoor person who likes to lie on the couch and scroll through social media. This is not necessarily a bad thing. But it can be. It can keep you from seeing the need to go out there and interact with the people in the real world.
You could go: “I already have friends on Facebook; I don’t need more friends.”
Leave your comfort zone. When you do that often, you are less likely to be shy whenever you’re with others.
7. Say Yes to The Next Hangout
When next your colleagues at work or school ask that you come along on the hangout, please do not say no. Leave your comfort zone and say yes.
The thing about becoming less shy is that it is a one-step-at-a-time thing. You get past one step, and the next step becomes easier for you.
If you say yes to the first invitation to a hangout and things go quite well, there is a big possibility that you will say yes to the second.
Make sure to first get comfortable with your surroundings at the hangout. This is an effective way to keep the shyness at bay; it is like an apple, keeping the doctor at bay.
Get comfortable with the other group there, with the lights, etc.
Keep good posture. Hold your head high and make sure to look into everyone’s eyes. Eye contact spells confidence and is sure a means for non-verbal conversation.
Do not make awkward body movements and be fidgety. Keep your hands away from objects and focus on whoever is talking.
8. Think, and Then Talk
When one is just starting to deal with shyness and communication problems, he or she may be tempted just to talk. You know, say things just to fill the spaces in the conversation. This is especially if the conversation is within a group.
Please, do not fall for this. Realize that conversations include those moments of silence once in a while, and it isn’t your fault that the conversation just got seemingly boring.
Embrace the silence, and talk only when you have to. In a conversation, you usually really have to talk when:
- You have been asked a question; When someone throws a question at you, and you have to talk, think about everything you have to say carefully, and say it just the way you have to. You don’t have to talk really fast.
- You feel you have to talk; there are times when you are sure you are meant to say something. This usually happens when the conversation is stirred towards a topic you have much knowledge about or something you enjoy doing. Now, talk and do not shrink. You have to try your best to be fine with being the center of attention.
Realize that what you have to say is important, and people want to listen to it.
Whatever language you speak, intonation and voicing is such an important part of speech (Ooops, we just made a pun).
When conversing, be sure to pay attention to your speech. Your language. Your voice texture. Your loudness. Be sure it all goes with the flow of the conversation.
- Mirror everyone or the person you are conversing with.
- If their voice drops, you should not raise your voice.
- Share the moment with him or her, and pay attention.
- Conversations can turn every now and then. Turn with the conversation, and if you can, turn it sometimes too.
10. Enjoy yourself. Try again. And again
Talk to people when you’re in a car, working in the office, or whenever you feel like having a conversation. It’s a beautiful feeling.
Let the conversation flow from your heart. Enjoy it and do it again and again. With time, you’ll be less shy, and you will master the art of communicating anywhere you find yourself.
Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash