To succeed as a single mom, you have to master an extraordinary level of everyday challenges. In addition to the child’s upbringing, you must take care of the house, deal with financial hurdles and loneliness. Nevertheless, many single moms have succeeded in implementing their professional duties and care for their children over the long term.
The pressures single parents face can affect their health—physically and mentally. For example, the risk of depression is far higher than that of mothers in stable two-parent families. In addition, these stressors can have an impact on their children. For example, boys tend to show signs of attention deficits, and girls are often experiencing depressive symptoms.
The problems the children face also make the everyday life of single mothers more complex so that a vicious circle of neediness and excessive demands arises. So how do you succeed as a single mom? Read on for practical tips on how to be successful.
1. Be conscientious
If you are a single mom, be meticulous about your domestic responsibilities. Take pleasure in them because they will add to the happiness of your children. However, proper planning and organization are essential. One single mother revealed: “Preparing meals doesn’t always cross my mind until I’m hungry.” But meals planned well in advance tend to be more nutritious and tasty than those hastily improvised.
You may also have to learn to use your hands in new ways. For example, by consulting knowledgeable friends, cookbooks, and helpful professionals, many single mothers have tackled painting, electrical repairs, and simple auto repairs.
2. Engage in wholesome association
Admittedly, you will sometimes feel very lonely as a single mom. But you can endure it with help from family and friends. Wholesome associations can do much to fill the void of loneliness. Also, try not to see your loneliness as a disadvantage; instead, use the quiet time you have to reflect appreciatively on what you have – your children.
Loneliness can make you desperate for attention and can make you vulnerable. If you dwell too much on it, it could cause you to settle for anyone who would accept you as a friend. You could begin to think that any attention is better than no attention, leading to making the wrong choice. Take your time. Apart from calling on relatives and friends and spending time with them, you can join a gym or fitness center, adopt a pet, go on a solo date and attend meetups.
3. Have a schedule
Single moms only have a limited time for their own activities and relaxation. Having a well-planned schedule can save you a lot of headaches because children work best on a schedule. As a single mother, you need to stick to a plan. When things go out of control, you will work extra hard to fix them.
Juggling work, home, and kids’ plans can be very challenging. However, if your child realizes that mom is taking the schedule seriously, he or she will also make it a priority to follow it through. Single moms who could stick to a schedule have raised more successful children.
4. Maintain discipline
To succeed as a single mom, you need to be reasonable, consistent, and firm when you discipline your children. It may be challenging at first, but in time, they will respond. Still, it will be best to consider the feelings of your children. Always temper your discipline with understanding.
Find ways to talk to them at every opportunity. Time for dinner is an excellent time to have cozy moments together with your kids. Why not ask them to join you in preparing dinner from time to time. They will be able to confide in you during these times.
Love should be the foundation of and the motivation for your discipline as a single mom. Sometimes, they may stretch your patience to the limit, but always remember that anger-based punishment is usually oppressive, excessive, and counterproductive, especially during tough times. Never resort to using harsh words, constant criticism, or hurtful sarcasm when disciplining your children. They can lead to more misbehavior and sometimes even mental health problems.
5. Set boundaries
It is natural for single moms to be close to their children, yet you should set boundaries between yourself and your children. For example, serious difficulties can arise if you expect your son to take on the responsibilities of the home or treat your daughter as a confidant, thereby burdening her with intimate problems.
Doing so is not right given the circumstances and can even be stressful to a child. It is your responsibility to care for them and not vice versa. At times, you may need some advice or support. Seek it from experience or older family and friends, not from your minor children.
Setting boundaries also include knowing when to say “no” because children can sometimes be manipulative and twist your arm with tantrums, so it is best to know when not to give in to their demands. If you can set boundaries, they’ll know where to draw the line from the start instead of constantly coaxing you into favors.
It also helps them to understand what is not possible and would not even request it. Finally, setting boundaries helps raise successful adults as they will respect boundaries in their adult relationships too.
6. Ask for support
Ask your trusted relatives and friends for support if necessary. It helps a single mother immensely. Try building this support system and ask them for help if you are overwhelmed. For example, if you need to have a drink and relax with your friends, don’t think you are selfish.
You can ask a relative to babysit and don’t think for a long time before seeking help. Being a single mother is very challenging, but you can succeed as a single mom with love, wisdom, and a little extra effort. Just follow our tips and be a great single mom.
As a single mom, you’re not only tasked with the hard work of parenting which on its own is often tough for two parents to manage; you’re also responsible for your households and finances even when things are tight. To succeed as a single mom, always try to balance your work life and personal life by taking advantage of the following tips outlined in this article.