Marriage is more than the union of two individuals who have found love and happiness. It’s an institution to learn and understand another human being to the highest levels. As you begin the process of leaving singlehood and stepping into marriage, there are certain things to know. This information will guide and prepare your mind for eventualities. It will provide useful insights on how to prepare for marriage while single.
1. Understand The Value Of Your Partner: Showing your partner they matter is a primary building block of any relationship. Before you venture into marriage, learn and understand how to value someone. To do this, you need to focus on their positive side and not to condemn your partner.
You should brag about them in public, and always say “Thank you” when they do you a favor. Tell them your appreciation and ensure they understand you and how valuable they are.
2. Talk About Money And Finance: Money and finance are going to be a critical and delicate issue for your marriage. Statistics show that more than 30% of marriages will crash in the first five years. This will usually be because of money, financial, or economic issues. Learn how to prepare for marriage while single, while knowing financial consequences. If you want your marriage to last, you have to learn how to handle money.
Have a conversation with your intended partner about their earnings. Agree on issues like the contribution to bills, the cost of raising children, and purchasing properties. Also, talk about education and skill levels and how you plan to improve.
3. Talk About Kids: Once children start coming, they’re going to change your life and so, forever. While you are still single, you need to sit down and start talking about the kids and how you’re going to handle them.
Kids will take a lot of your time, and you need to sacrifice that time if you want them to turn out well. You and your partner must decide how you’re going to handle the kids and your jobs. There is nothing written in stone, and decisions can change over time. But having a plan pretty much makes things easier for both of you.
4. Talk About Beliefs And Ideologies: Two people coming together must have an agreement in beliefs and ideologies. We’re not saying people from different religions can’t have a healthy relationship. They can. But, if the two of them are adherents to their respective religions, issues may arrive in the future.
So, never hide religious and social believes from your partner. Talk about these issues and let them understand how you feel. Discuss issues relating to heaven, the afterlife, immortality, etc.
5: Talk About Sex: Every marriage needs a good dose of healthy sex to flourish. Sex is a critical part of how to prepare for marriage while single. You and your partner must put sex into serious considerations and agree on points.
Granted that marriage is about intimacy, companionship, and love. But without good sex, the entire structure will soon collapse. That’s why you should know your intimate capacity before you get into wedlock. Also, you should ensure you and your better half are on the same page.
The two of you have to be on comparable levels of sexual desire. If one person has more passion than the other, you’ll be heading for severe marital challenges.
6. Talk About Each Other’s Family Members: Family members are going to show up in your lives one way or the other. Both of you need to talk about each other’s family members and try to meet as many as possible.
Having a connection with family members further increases trust solidifies the relationship. Sharing your love among each other’s family members will also encourage friendship. While connecting with these intimate people, you are building a field of support.
7. Talk About Close Friends: Apart from family members, you also want to talk about close friends as you prepare for marriage. Both of you have friends who have been around you since childhood. These people will not be going away even after you’ve tied the knots.
You need to have a conversation about your close friends. Agree on the role they will be playing in your future marriage and how close you want them. The fundamental thing is to understand the purpose of everyone in your union. People who might be a threat to your love may need to go away, but it has to be a decision both of you would agree. Love grows better when influences are not intruding all the time.
8. Travel Together: People learn how to prepare for marriage while single by traveling with their fiancé. Traveling together will place both of you in a different environment. You will be alone, and that symbolizes the situations you will be in when you finally get married.
Traveling makes you stronger as a couple. You will understand each other more, learn new things. Traveling will also increase romance, creates new memories, and promotes intimacy.
9. Avoid Living Together During Dating: For a long time, living together for a couple of years is generally not suitable for your marriage. Research suggests that couples who live together for years before they married have a higher divorce rate. This will happen because they slid into marriage without knowing it.
We’re talking about dating for some time to understand each other more. During such a period, both of you will perceive what things will be like when you’re finally engaged. Dating and courtship also present an opportunity to prepare for marriage and the future better.
10. Practice Effective Communication: Thoughts and feelings are going to flow in your marriage. Over time, they will even become the criteria for making decisions. Effective communication is key to developing a lasting and enduring relationship. With better communication comes the desire to grow in the love that will last a lifetime.
You can’t wait until you’re married to start doing that, you need to begin now. Practicing effective communications will improve the conversation between the two of you. It will also make it easier to resolve conflicts. Communication will be the only tool available for you to rebuild your marriage if it breaks down.
So, start learning how to communicate from now on. You must be able to communicate with your partner effectively if your marriage is to succeed. Is a good way to prepare for marriage while single.
11. Read Marriage Books: Learning from people with practical experience is essential for useful skills in marriage. Reading marriage books is something you should do while you’re still single.
These books come from experts who have counsel hundreds of couples for decades. There is room for improvement, but the helpful tips in these texts will help you make the right decisions.
12. Go For Premarital Counseling At Least Once: Couples therapy cases have a 70% chance of producing positive results. Going to premarital counseling will help couples set realistic expectations. They will also develop conflict-resolution skills. Such an ability will be useful in case they need help down the line of their marriage.
Premarital counseling is a calculative and progressive process; couples can get vital lessons. Make sure you find a counselor you’re comfortable with. A reliable counselor must have the reputation of assisting couples, with testimonials.
13. Learn Each Other’s Strengths And Weaknesses: Everyone has strengths and weaknesses; no one is a saint or a devil. While you’re going into marriage, understand that these characteristics will become visible. They will also lead to conflicts and other issues in your marriage life.
If you’re able to learn them and deal with them now, you will grow the power to manage it. Have a list of your strengths and weaknesses as a couple and plan how you’re going to improve on it or get rid of it. Communication is a crucial strength factor no one should ignore in a marriage. So, it has to be part of an extensive discussion.
14. Learn To Have A Sense Of Humor: As you learn how to prepare for marriage while single, you need to pay attention to humor. Many unions today are full of strong words and harsh conditions that lead to quarrels and stress.
Laughter bonds people, so you need to start practicing how to do it now before you tie the knots. You need to learn smart ways to use humor to subdue a tense situation and calm your partner. Start practicing today and see how you will be able to grow yourself and your partner.
15. Check Your Habits: Your habits to your partner will be a significant factor in helping you have a happy married life. Before you start your journey into marriage, write down your habits. Then, check to see which one is good and which you should ignore.
Form the habit of doing new and exciting things that will make your partner happy. Create ideas to improve the connection between the two of you. If you have habits like smoking, excessive alcohol, untidy, and jealousy reduce such manners. You should practice increasing habits like showing love, expressing gratitude, and hugging. Talking about positive things for the future and listening more than you talk is also good.
16. Prepare To Serve And Forgive: If you want your marriage to be blissful, you need to start learning how to serve your partner. Service is a show of friendship, loyalty, and commitment. When you serve people, it translates into amazing results you’re going to love.
Couples who are ready to serve each other find it easier to forgive when things go wrong. Learning to forgive is a core issue for your future happy marriage. You will hurt your partner while your partner will hurt you. But forgiveness will help you let bygones be bygones.
It will also strengthen your love life in the process and create hope for better things in the future. Being able to serve and forgive is a good step when you’re preparing for marriage.
17. Set Aside Your Pride: Pride is a terrible thing, especially in modern marriage. When two people come together, the idea is for them to share responsibilities. But once one person begins to dream about dominating the other for any reason, things start to turn sour.
Pride puts a massive wedge between two people. It destroys any intimacy you have built over the years, in an irreplaceable way. So, find out how to prepare for marriage while single by dealing with your pride. It may be tough if you’re used to it, but you will overcome it.
18. Set Aside Greed: Along with pride is the issue of greed. In your marriage, both of you will have ups and downs in financial matters and other situations. You’re supposed to support each other and work together to make things better.
Setting aside greed in your marriage will open doors to support your spouse in need and help them up. That way, they will owe you and look forward to repaying your kindness. Greed is something that no one should tolerate in a marriage. To succeed against the evil of greed, you need to start dealing with it now that you’re still single.
19. Get In One Good Fight: Fights will come in your marriage, so get ready for it. If you haven’t, then it’s good that you get into a good argument. When couples get into a row, the result usually makes things better. You get to understand each other more in a unique way. Although try not to overdo it, so you don’t ruin everything.
Your fight should be about something valuable and not for any empty reasons. Have conflict for a tangible goal and build a better life from the process.
20. Stop Sharing Details Of Your Relationship With Others: Once you’re committed to someone, you need to respect that union. Try keeping stories, history, and secrets between the two of you confidential. As you prepare yourself for marriage life, learn how to keep details intact. People can turn things against you for what you told them about your spouse.
Most people are sensitive about secrets and confidential information. Train yourself to be discrete in this regard, no matter the temptation to talk. If you ever need to share anything, your parents and siblings are enough.
Here are some factors to consider while preparing for marriage
- Relationships with family: How do you treat your family members? Do you frequently lose your self-restraint with them by using harsh or scornful language to make a point? What would be your family’s viewpoint about you in that regard? The same way you deal with your parents and siblings indicates how you will treat your proposed marriage mate.
- Behavior: Are you a positive or a pessimistic person? Do you try to see things the way others view them or the type that always insists on your way of doing things? What you want is final without considering other options given to you by others? When under stress or pressure, are you able to keep your coolness or composure? Meditating on these questions will help you see where you can improve and become a better marriage mate.
- Finances: Do you handle money very well, or you’re frequently in debt? Can you hold onto a job for as long as it takes without getting into a problem with it? If your answer is no to these questions, then what could be the reason? Does the reason lie in the job or your employer? Or is it because of some habits or traits you exhibit? Examine yourself in these areas and see where you can make the adjustments.
So the point is for you to understand yourself better. Understanding yourself will equip you better to find someone to amplify your strengths and weaknesses positively. Use these tips to prepare for marriage while single.
Allison Eyube is the Editor in Chief at Whatsdalatest. As a consultant, he enhances brand awareness and the communication process. As a writer, Allison is committed to giving everyone the best relationship advice and wellness information.
He enjoys writing useful content for people from all walks of life.