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10 Best Ways to Spot a Player

by | Meeting People, Moving On

Last updated May 1, 2022 | Published on Apr 11, 2022

Knowing whether a guy is a player or not is super easy. There are various ways to spot a player. Players would always want to act like they are authentic to catch unsuspecting ladies. If you don’t watch out for the following signs, you might easily fall prey to their trap. Read on to learn different ways to spot a player.

What Is a Player in a Relationship?

A player in a relationship is a manipulative person who goes into a relationship with an ulterior motive without the intention of committing and also sometimes dates multiple women at the same time. If someone is only interested in having sex with you and not in the long-term, he is probably one.

A player sees himself as an artist skilled at tricking women into doing what he wants. When he succeeds, he counts it as a trophy. His number one goal is to win—get what he wants—and there’s always a time when they like to reflect on the different number of women they have successfully tricked.

When with their friends, players count the number of women they have intimate encounters with, discuss how beautiful these women are, their shapes and sizes, where they come from, and how hard it takes them to get what they want. For them, it is a game. 

For example, a player may boost that he has successfully slept with a British, an American, Canadian, and a Chinese woman, and his next target is a Russian woman. Yeah, you heard me right. That’s how they think and why they do the things they do—to add an imaginary trophy to their imaginary cabinet.

Before we delve into how you can spot a player in detail, I want you to keep in mind that these signs are just possible indicators of a player—not 100% certain that a guy is one. Also, bear in mind that some players can easily get away without manifesting these telltale signs.

Here are the 10 best ways to spot a player.

1. Always compliments your body.

A player likes to compliment your figure, backside, front side, etc.

90% of guys who compliment parts of girls’ bodies are players. They compliment these parts of your body because it is what they fantasize about in their head. 

Their main goal in dating you is simply to have a taste of you. Meanwhile, a sincere guy will compliment your beauty, character, and personality, not parts of your body. To a player, you’re like a gallery. 

2. He doesn’t take a personal interest in you

A player doesn’t have the time to dig deep. He stops at the surface. His goal is to get you fast into his bed. 

He doesn’t have the patience to listen carefully to what you have to say. He does not show genuine interest in understanding what you’re going through and does not manifest fellow feelings.

A player only thinks about himself. What he wants is more important to him. Also, watch out if he enjoys talking so much about himself. 

Read: Signs To Know If You And Your Partner Are Compatible

3. A player is always impatient  

A player moves or acts in great haste. When you tell him to take it slowly, he will be on edge or agitated. He will always want to find all means to convince you to do things his way.

A player is always super persuasive and manipulative, especially when he wants you to do his bidding. He only wants to get what he wants. What you want or think is not so important. Players have a “me first” attitude in relationships. 

Remember, relationships should be about sharing and considering each other in all things. 

4. Nothing goes for nothing attitude. 

A relationship works better when both partners are willing to support each other without expecting something in return. A player always wants something back for anything he does for you. 

He’s ready to please you in so many ways, but only for a condition. To get what he wants. They can never be selfless. Watch out if he is very selfish. A guy who loves you truly will give something to you wholeheartedly without obligations.

5. A player is always secretive.

This sign is obvious with a player right from the onset. Players are good in keeping secrets. They definitely have a lot of things to hide. Here are a few things they wouldn’t want you to see or know about:

  • About their family
  • Text messages from their phone
  • The calls they make
  • Their pasts
  • Whereabouts

6. A player’s body Language

Another way to identify a player is his body language. You will sense something is out of place. A player acts suspiciously. Look directly into his eyes. See if he looks back at you in kind. 

Also, see if he continuously checks his watch and phone and looks around the surroundings from time to time when you guys are in public places. 

Does he try to avoid going to public places or feel uncomfortable in public places? Does he like to look at other women when you guys are together? 

It is very difficult for a player to resist the urge even if he has a potential date right there with him. There is a saying; a player will always be a player. That is absolutely true. 

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Read: How To Cheat-Proof Your Relationship

7. You’re not sure where you stand with him. 

You have agreed to date him, and you guys have dated for a while. Yet, you do not know your stand with him. He doesn’t show any strong commitment. He never talks about future plans. 

If this is your experience with him, he is likely a player. He just wants something from you, and after he gets what he wants, he will break up with you. 

Moreover, an authentic guy would like to discuss with you his plans. He will show commitment. Additionally, you will feel very safe with him and have a relaxed mind instead of guessing what tomorrow holds for you guys.  

8. He rarely texts or calls. 

Remember when he was still trying to convince you to go out with him. Also, how he calls all the time and sends texts to you regularly. After you have started dating, everything will drastically decrease to a minimum. 

A player will only call when he wants something very important from you. Probably when he wants to see you, or when he wants something very badly.

Read: 10 Proven Signs You’re Falling in Love

9. His behavior changes drastically. 

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A player’s behavior changes as time goes on. There will be huge changes compared to when you guys first started dating and after you have dated for a while.

Watch out for the changes in him. How he was before and how he is now. Further, see if there are significant changes between now and then. If he is a player, the difference will show. 

10. A player likes to flirt with other women. 

Though flirting doesn’t always mean that he wants to sleep with other women, he is definitely a player if he does it all the time. 

genuine guy would always strive to avoid flirting with other women, especially when you are there. He will avoid making you feel jealous, and he will make an effort to show other people that he is with you. But a player will make people have the feeling that you are just a friend.

5 Common Behaviours of a Player

1. How a Player Talks

A player tends to change his head position quickly, especially when you ask him something. He changes or tilts his head position before providing any answer to your question.

A player expresses more words than are needed when he leads the conversation but will be uncomfortable and may clam up if he feels like he’s losing control, especially when you ask him sensitive information. 

For example, ask a player about a certain girl or tell him part of your suspicion; he will tread carefully with his following words because he doesn’t know how much you already know. He will expect you to lay out all your cards on the table before he proceeds. 

2. How a Player Looks at You

Players tend to avoid a direct gaze when you look directly into their eyes. If he isn’t comfortable making direct eye contact when you make important inquiries from him, he is most likely a player.

3. How a Player Flatters or Compliments You

One thing is prevalent among potential players—the use of flattering words. They tend to overuse compliments because women like compliments — words such as you’re so beautiful, adorable, I can’t do without you, etc. Players take advantage of this and use it to capitalize on non-suspecting women.  

When a guy is being genuine and pointing out features he truly likes about you, that is okay. A player, however, uses the same compliment for every girl he meets. He prefers to say hot, sexy, nice curves, nice shape, great body, and intoxicating instead of beautiful, amazing, adorable, clever, and intelligent.

The way he compliments you also shows you that’s what he’s obviously focusing on your body. If all a guy thinks of whenever you’re together is about your body, you know he is a player.

4. How Impatient a Player Is

A player doesn’t have patience. All he is only interested in is—sex. He won’t be interested in your other affairs, such as your family, health, or your plans for the future.

He is only interested in having fun. A guy who truly cares about you will devote the energy and effort to know everything about you, even minor details.

5. How secretive a Player Is

There may be valid reasons to want to maintain privacy in a relationship. A player doesn’t want others to know that you guys are dating. He is most likely a player when he deliberately keeps the relationship secret.

Try asking him about his family and friends and tell him you want to meet them. He will find ways to divert the topic to something else or postpone the meeting.

Why Players Usually Get Away

Many people think only rich and attractive guys are players. Many players always appear handsome, cute, innocent, and sometimes even caring, but that doesn’t mean they are players.

A player can be handsome, rich, poor, attractive, ugly, tall, or short. They take different forms. While it’s easy for a handsome guy to trick a lady and get what he wants, that doesn’t mean all unattractive guys are genuine.

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Players easily get away with faking their love because they have been practicing and playing women for far too long than they can remember. They know how to put 2 and 2 together within seconds and quickly develop the perfect magic words to remove any doubts you might have about them. It’s most likely like a hobby for many already.

Bottom Line

It is best to listen to your gut whenever you’re in doubt and let your instincts guide you. If that little voice in your head begins to question their attitude or behavior, don’t ignore it. Ask follow-on questions. If they become defensive, know something is definitely up.

It will be best to take your time to get to know someone you would like to get involved with for a long time or even marry in the future. Don’t be afraid to sever all contact with a guy if he is overly confident and pushy at the beginning of a relationship.

You will always have doubts if you are dating a player. While some players are very good at faking it, they can’t do it for long. Unlike a player, genuineness is written all over a sincere and honest guy.

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By Martin Corden

Martin Corden is a certified relationship expert and a songwriter from Australia. He loves researching and writing. Martin loves finding new ways to improve and inspires others to be their best version and work together towards it. Martin has a wide range of intellectual and artistic interests.

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