10 Steps To Building Your Self-Esteem

by | Confidence

May 24, 2020

Everyone is always waiting for someone to tell them how good they are at something, or how beautiful they look, or whether that dress fits perfectly or not, which most times is not necessary. Don’t get me wrong, these words of affirmation help to push us to do more or make us feel good about ourselves, but have we ever stopped to tell ourselves these words instead of waiting for someone’s approval? Well, I’m sure we all know the answer is no, otherwise, you won’t be here reading this.

Nobody is ever given birth to with an unlimited level of self-confidence flying through the roof. If you happen to have come across anyone with an incredible level of self-confidence, then he or she must have either worked hard on building that self-confidence or was never trampled upon by life, which is hardly possible, because the challenges of life tend to most times deflate our self-confidence.

Every moment someone is going through a phase of having low self-esteem. There are various factors that can influence a person’s self-esteem


7 factors that can influence a person’s self-esteem


  • Life experiences
  • Social Circumstances
  • Age
  • Health
  • Personality
  • Our thoughts
  • Comparing ourselves to others


When it comes to building your self-esteem everything begins with the mind. What you think about yourself and how you see yourself will determine if you are going to be able to put the effort into being a better version of yourself.

We all hear the famous saying “You can accomplish anything if we believe in yourself”, which is untrue. If it were, children who believed they could fly would be soaring in the skies right now. However, this famous saying to an extent is true. Furthermore, believing and accepting yourself for who you are is an important factor in every aspect of our lives. From success to relationships, and most especially building your self-esteem. This way we get to believe more in our abilities.

Are you unsure of whether you have a high self-esteem or a low one? Here are the characteristics each possesses. From here you can find out which category you belong to.


High self-esteem


  1. You act assertively without guilt and can easily communicate with others.
  2. You reject the attempt of others trying to manipulate you.
  3. You handle criticism without taking it personally.
  4. You appreciate yourself more often.
  5. You dwell more on the present rather than the past because you see the past as a place to learn and not a place to dwell.
  6. You believe in your abilities.
  7. You dwell on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.
  8. You value yourself and everything you stand for.


Low self-esteem


  1. You tend to be a people pleaser.
  2. You are highly sensitive to other people’s opinions.
  3. What you do is never good enough.
  4. You doubt every decision you tend to make.
  5. You struggle with being confident.
  6. You often hate yourself.
  7. You doubt your abilities.
  8. You pay more attention to your weaknesses rather than strengths.


If you’re looking at building or boosting your self-esteem, and aiming to view yourself in a more positive light, these ten principles are a must-do.


10 Ways You Can Build Your Self-Esteem


1. Learn to be your number one cheerleader


As I said earlier, everyone wants to be given a word of affirmation, but before you wait for someone to cheer you, you have to first cheer yourself, There is no bigger source of motivation than yourself.


2. Never think or speak negatively about yourself


Sometimes one looks at the mirror and says to themselves ‘ I’m not pretty enough’, or you tell yourself you can never make it. Also, words like this will always discourage you in putting your best in whatever you do or looking at yourself in a positive light.


3. Learn to always focus on your potentials and not your limitations


As humans, we all have limitations same as we have potentials, but we don’t have to always focus on where we can’t reach, rather focus on your potentials, which if you grow can help you in exceeding your limitations.


4. Never be afraid of being different, do not be a people pleaser


Most times we tend to please those around us, by changing who we are, or being what they want. Never be afraid to be different because being different is what makes you stand out.


5. Find that particular thing you like and do it well, aim to do it with excellence


Everyone has that particular thing he or she can do with ease, it could be drawing, dancing, singing or any other thing. Find that particular thing you love doing and can do well. Then aim at doing it with excellence. This way, you get to see yourself as so much more than you are.


6. Never allow anyone to label you.


Determine yourself worth before others do it for you. There’s a quote I tell myself every time I feel someone is about to put me down and it is “Never allow anyone walk the corridors of your mind with their dirty feet ”. Furthermore, people are bound to tell you who you are or should be, but you should never let that happen. Find out who you are and tell yourself you are that.


7. Learn to handle criticism


Let positive criticism develop you and use it as a source of motivation rather than allowing it to discourage you, take people’s criticism as a source of motivation to become better.


8. You are unique, one-of-a-kind, an original.


Never compare yourself to anyone, and do not settle for being a copy. Furthermore, never try to be like someone else. There is only one of you and that makes you special. 


9. Never beat yourself for your shortcomings


Do not beat yourself for your shortcomings, rather keep them in perspective for you are still a work in progress. Besides, everyone is bound to make mistakes. So never beat yourself down for your shortcomings, because you are a work in progress. Furthermore, perfection doesn’t happen overnight. We all get better as the days go by.


10. Know yourself


Like they always say, save the best for the last. This last step cannot be overemphasized; there is a feeling of self-fulfillment in knowing who you are and understanding yourself. Furthermore, there might be some ups and downs in discovering yourself, but during all these you’ll be constantly learning new things about yourself.

Moreover, we were all born with potentials waiting to be unfolded. Taking the ways outlined above is a step in building your self-esteem.


10 Steps To Building Your Self-Esteem




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